Two days ago my husband brought his father to “visit” us for a few weeks. FIL has dementia and lives in another state. Was released from rehab. Son with POA who lives there does not want to care for him. He gave DH POA for medical only and it is dual POA. I knew this was planned but DH denied it and didn’t tell me that he was coming. He went to his dad’s to “assess the situation” and called me from there to tell me that he was bringing him here. DH works full time.
We we met with an elder attorney and DH didn’t do anything she said. She said she never recommended dual POA. I asked what if FIL came here and then BIL wouldn’t take him back. She said that would be a very bad situation. DH left the meeting, came straight home and went to his dad’s and brought him here.
DH fell and broke a bone that requires surgery. BIL is refusing to come get him. We don’t have financial POA. DH won’t stand up to the brother. Our son is here going off on me because I say his dad needs to leave. Even DH says his brother needs to come get him. Even if he says that to his brother, he can’t make him.
What do we do? My stress level is off the charts. No one seems to think this is a big deal. Since FIL has been here, every second has been spent helping him. The bathrooms were messy. He’s taken over the whole house. DH needs calm and quiet. It was a serious injury. What do we do? DH admits he needs to be in assisted living or nursing home. BIL wants money for “inheritance”.