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I am at my wits end. Trying still to help make some positive changes in the home of my elderly parents. From previous post I still have to deal with two siblings. Sister being the worst offender not allowing anything to get done without a hassle. In fact, she tackled me physically this week about cleaning another part of the home. If it were not for my father begging me not to retaliate any further, I just do not know. Mom as usual made excuses for her treatment of me. I gave them both kisses and excused myself.

Adding more fuel to fire. Here is another problem that is weighing on me.

One of the elders keep getting loans and co-signing loans. These monies are issue out because this child is about to lose a vehicle, this one is about to lose a home or apartment, this one can't afford their utilities or food, etc. They also beg both elders out of the little money issued to them each month after paying the bills.

With that being said, one of the loans will be paid off soon. I have begged this elder not to re-borrow because it will help the budget. That elder had agreed but now say it would help the adult children and help feed the herd during the winter. Everyone has dibs on who gets the most money from any herd sells and who should get money when borrowing from banks.

So my question, besides POA. Is there anything that can be done to block these loans or at least make it difficult?

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Update 02/2015

I’m tired and beyond frustrated with my parents, sisters, and brothers. Parents have had problem after problem since thanksgiving last year. At first septic system failed, bypassed that problem. Then the stove went out. Hubby fixed that problem. Then the icebox went out. We were going to purchase new but the only person willing to shell out money ($200 out his pocket) was dad and the rest (mom and sister) refused to help. So we went used instead.

Now, the sound I kept telling everyone sounded like a leak in the wall has turned into a major plumbing issue. The leak is so far underneath the home/concrete slab, the plumber suggested new installation at about $1400.

So after discovering rural development denied them for a guaranteed loan (due to being $3000 over the income limit), we discussed checking with the bank. I drive down. Soon as I asked mom to get ready she had a fit talking about having to sign her name to a bank loan and how she has never had to do such a thing. We left to meet dad and sister in town.

As soon as we meet up in town sister starts talking about I told you’ll you didn’t have to go through all this trying to get a loan stuff. We can go another month and re-do my loan (dad has to co-sign the loan). Then she goes on to say that brother (not a plumber) says he can fix everything as long as parts are purchased. Of course, everyone thinks dad should be the only one to purchase.

Then they go on to talk about their homeowner’s policy. I tell them insurance will do nothing especially if you don’t use a licensed plumber. Hubby and I are so upset at everyone. Sister and mom for not being willing to contribute financially. Dad for constantly borrowing and then shelling it out to adult children.

Mom had the nerve to ask me why we are not coming as often as we once were. Hello? I can’t wash your hair, give you a bath, or fix you a hot meal because the pluming problem tanked the gas in the home. And if anyone gets a bad stomach lol, who wants to pour water out of a bucket to flush.

To top it off, we have been off and on traveling a long distance because dad has a medical problem and set to have prostate surgery if he can handle being put to sleep.

I want to rebel and put in online application.
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This is a tough situation - but as long as they are competent to make decisions, even bad ones, you won't be able to do much there. What you can do is limit the negative impact to you - so no money lent. Sometimes hard love is what is needed. What are you willing to do? Visit them? Some help? Do what you feel healthy for you and not let your siblings browbeat you. If your parents have money for loans then they have money to pay for work that needs to be done - like cleaning, fixing, etc.
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According to APS worker from previous visit this year (another incident from previous post) both adults are still competent. So guardianship is out. A couple of calls to their insurance company did result in no more loans being allowed against their insurance policy. I’m just not sure this logic will work with banks.

They have a separate bank account. I keep receipts for all purchases and bills paid.

We use to give handouts to help, but once we found out that the money we were giving to help them was being issued out to the adult children and more, we stopped. However, it hurt my heart to hear them two weeks later talking about being completely broke.

It’s so bad that one of the elders has gotten into bed with Peter Pop* (a preacher) trying to fix the family financial problems through his false promises.
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You could get guardianship if the elder is incompetent.

If the money belongs to the elder, they can use it as they please. Do they understand that if they loan money, they won't have funds to heat their own home and buy food this winter.

I hope that their finances and yours are separate so that you don't feel the need to supplement .

Would this elder listen to their lawyer on this issue?
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