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I am struggling with whether to just take her home (a few hours away from me) or place her in a great assisted living facility in my town, or let her stay in my home with me. I would just take her home and hire home health, but there is a wrench with that plan because she has a "boyfriend" that is 30 years younger than her that we know is a criminal and has been stealing her life savings (a whole other problem). If I take her home, he will prey. She doesn't want to be in the facility and denies that she is even having problems.She has currently been staying with me,but she insists on going home almost every day. She is in this horrible stage where she knows enough to convince herself that there isn't a problem, but not enough to take care of herself.I want to do what is right for her and not just push what I want. It is so sad,I feel horrible.I have also thought about an apartment for her up here. I have tried talking with her, but all I get is "Mary, I am going home. I am going home!"

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Mary,

I feel for you in the plight that you are in. Are you an only child? Is anyone investigating the money being stolen from your mother? Do you have her Durable and Medical POAs? If you have her Durable POA then you can take some action to protect your mother's money. If you have your mother's Medical POA, that would help you possibly get her into an assisted living, but that criminal might come there to prey as well. You might be able to get a restraining order on the known criminal. Has her doctor told her that it is not safe for her to live alone anymore? If not, then she needs an appointment soon.
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