Does there come a time when we just let them watch TV all day if they want?

Jessie - it's when you DO start to see the poison ivy that you need to start questioning your sanity. For now, you're probably okay.

I have to admit I got a giggle in reading the original post.

Memories of the hundreds of times my mother told me to turn off the tv and to go outside and play.

The circle of life, right?

Well, here it is 4 years later. My mother still sits in her pajamas watching TV all day. There is one huge difference. I don't feel the need to be her entertainment committee anymore. She stopped wanting to go to church and she wants me to bring food home to her, instead of going to restaurants. Her friend across the street is in long-term care now with end-stage renal failure. I don't know how many more miles are on my mother's road of life. She only moves down the road an inch a day, so it may be many more years.

One thing I thought about recently is that the TV was always on when I was younger. I was in and out of the house during the day, so I don't know what she was doing. But at nighttime she was in front of the TV. She watched sports all weekend. The TV is more interesting than real life and is a lot safer, I guess. She is still the same person, I guess, and she won't change from it. So I do all the things that need to be done and leave her with her TV. It would drive me crazy to join her, so I don't. There are so many other things that need to be done.

Yep. My 65 yo hubby still can manage a 40 hr workweek, but he walks in the door at 7 pm, eats and is in bed by 7:15. The TV is on (LOUD) the headphones are also on (noise cancelling) and he's flipping through his phone to post on Facebook. He slept all day yesterday, he just now got up and got into the bathtub only because I invited the grandkids over. He'll be asleep by 9 and probably sleep all day tomorrow. He literally sleeps 3-4 days of the week.
I KNOW he severely depressed. He refuses to treat it. He is retiring soon and plans to do nothing but sleep.
I live my life and he lives his. I hate it, but it's never going to change. He stopped caring/listening to me years ago.

Someone has to WANT to change or they won't. Simple as that.

Here's a little different perspective -- I was thrilled when my husband Coy could watch tv.

Coy had Lewy Body Dementia. When it first became apparent the symptoms were extremely severe. His attention span was about 2 minutes max, he was fidgety, couldn't focus on anything. Tried to read the newspaper upside down. But then he gradually became better and after a few months settled in the "mild" stage of his disease.

It was awesome to have him able to focus again! Complicated drama with commercial breaks was too frustrating for him, but I bought a few videos of shows he used to like. Hogan's Heroes was wonderful -- under a half an hour, simple and predictable characters, and plots he had seen more than once before. There were several others. Also he loved travel videos or nature ones. About the only thing he watched on television was sports. I worked from home and I could not stand the loud television so I insisted on wireless earphones for him. At first he resisted but then he discovered he could still hear the game while he went to the bathroom and after that he was OK with them.

So while there are many posts on AC about how to get a loved one to not watch so much tv, I spent a lot of effort on making sure that watching television was pleasant entertainment for my loved one.

Coy did other activities as well. Television did not consume all his waking hours. But he enjoyed the time he spent on it.

Exactly, we cant force them. I DO try to "encourage" to get outside, get up and move , etc. But....."I am too wiped out now".

The nurses at the home where we had him for respite care twice, stated the same the really tried getting him to come listen to music, etc in the main entertainment area, but he refused.

This, is by far the hardest job. I could raise 20 kids, verses one parent with alzheimers disease, seriously. As crazy as that sounds.

"Blessings to all of you & big hugs"!

It's frustrating. Too cold to leave the house quickly becomes too hot to leave the house. It might rain. It might snow. It might be windy. It might be humid. There might be lots of traffic.

And I listened to all that crap with a straight face. No point in trying to inject how the rest of us handle the air that we breathe.

The only thing that matters is their reality. Their teeny-tiny reality.

Ah, Jessie, this is so hard. If Mom is depressed, then encouraging her to do things that are good for her but that she doesn't have the initiative to do on her own is a kindness. If Mom is withdrawing into herself because the dementia is progressing and that is the stage she is going into, then it may be unkind to insist that she behaves differently. Sigh. Where is the crystal ball when you need it?

When my husband was first diagnosed, and before he got on drugs and probably before the inflamation in his brain went away, he could not watch television. His attention span was too short, the commercials interrupted the flow of the story line, and the whole experience was just too confusing for him. We were very thankful to come up with some CDs of familiar old television shows. Without the commercials and with familiar material that could entertain him for an hour or so now and then. We were grateful! Then he got back enough cognition to watch sports on tv and also liked history and nature shows. Toward the end he once again did not watch television -- he had no interest.

So whether watching television is a good thing or a bad thing I guess depends on where you are coming from.

Something else that is funny, the "poison ivy" she had four years ago is still there. Two or three times a day she talks about her poison ivy and how she got it doing some yard work on the side of the house. She hasn't been out in a year or two and there is no ivy on the side of the house. I don't say anything, but listening to the poison ivy story every day for a few years is very trying. Sometimes she shows me her poison ivy and I can never see anything. Neither can the dermatologist. But to her it is there and it is something she just got, though it has been four years now. I don't know how we keep our sanity. I'm not sure I have.

It sounds as if your mother is living with you. Congrats to you. My Mom is beginning to withdraw from interaction with other residents in her assisted living facility. She is 93. She has dementia. One of the symptoms of dementia is withdrawing from interaction with other residents. Part of her problem is that she cannot find the words to communicate. She says she still goes to play Bingo. So now all she does, in her downtime, is watch TV. She, too, messes up the remote and can't get the TV on. That's when she calls me and we try to get it straight. But she is really pretty upset because it doesn't work and the TV is her only means of belonging to society.....if you wish to call it that. You might want to have her evaluated for dementia or Alzheimer's. And, if I were you, start looking into facilities that could handle your Mom....if she can afford it.