Follow
Share

The roommate is 72, almost 73, and a heavy drinker of vodka starting at about 4 pm daily. He thinks he doesn't drink much, but he drinks to get drunk and that occurs faster all the time. This is frustrating to me because I don't drink (never really have, except when I was young and partying). The recent mouth noises are bugging me as much - I think I suffer from misophonia a bit anyway. I would get his doctor involved but he would totally resist that, even though I'm his POA and sole executor and beneficiary of his estate. He has no direct relatives left, no children, spouses are dead and had no kids with him or anyone else. He has 2 half nephews, both in poor health. Can anyone give me advise as to what to do with the situation?
FYI, he was my late (11 years ago) husband's best friend. When his 2nd wife died suddenly, he needed a roommate, so I moved in. We are independent financially. I pay all the bills, he reimburses me half, we don't co-mingle money. I AM on his bank account however, and because he has no one else, the POA, the will, etc. We bought the house we're in 5 years ago and are both on the mortgage, joint tenants, etc.
I am 71, will be 72 this year. I'm in great health, don't smoke (well, quit in September), don't drink, no drugs, take decent care of my health. I don't THINK I have dementia, although several people in my mom's family did. My mother's doctor said she'd pickled her brain, and I suspect that was the case for most of them. Alcoholism runs free in that group.
Ok, re-reading this, I've brought up way more than weird sounds. I guess I'm mainly looking for help with that. He's in the living room right now making a bunch of odd sounds, mostly singing jingles from commercials, and complaining. No one but the dog (asleep) is out there with him.

Find Care & Housing
He's not just singing little songs and ditties quietly, he's doing it all at some volume, along with belching in the middle of the songs, incorporating belching as a part of the songs, etc. I've gone to other parts of the house, and stay in the garage most of the spring and summer. That's the only place that's quiet. I wear ear buds most of the time, and he yells to get my attention when I do.

And yes, the alcoholism is the problem. My original intent in posting the question was to get some feedback on whether or not a sudden onset of weird noises might be indicative of an underlying problem related to dementia or Alzheimer's.

And I've moved a lot in my life, so I could just uproot myself and go. However, that would be a complicated process since our finances are mixed up with the house. It definitely could be done, just with a bit of difficulty. Not sure my energy level is up to it at my age.

But thanks for the responses!
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to anglia64
Report
AlvaDeer Feb 4, 2025
Consider local Al-Anon meetings. Bet you would find folks with homes to share and rooms to rent and even helpful movers. They are a marvelous community to access.
(0)
Report
Sleep apnea? Gasping?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to MACinCT
Report
anglia64 Feb 4, 2025
No, but we don't sleep together so if it's happening and I don't hear about it... I haven't heard anything odd coming from his room though.
(0)
Report
He’s an alcoholic and exhibiting odd behavior. Can going to another part of the house suffice in making this tolerable to live with? Only you know that answer for yourself. Can you be caregiver to him as he declines? Another question only you can answer. I wish you well in knowing the best choices for you
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

I would tell you to get a divorce, but you aren't married.
I myself would resign the POA and leave while you still can. He remains competent and undiagnosed. If he becomes demented you can only resign POA through the court with the help of an attorney in most states.
You sound like you are in a very unhappy situation.
You are free, single and over 21. Exit it.
The trajectory here is downward, and at 72 he easily has another two decades of life; why would you wish to be his roommate?
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

You are describing your roommates "odd sounds" as him singing jingles from commercials and complaining. Not sure how odd that is, but if you don't like it go to your room or outside, or put some ear phones on or ear pods in.
The fact that you're choosing to live with an alcoholic to me would be a much bigger problem than him singing some jingles. I'm just saying.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter