Some people, you cannot ask them "Do you want to take a shower?", you will get a no response every time. But you can give them a choice so they do have some sort of control in the matter..... "You need to have a shower today. Would you like to take a shower right now, or would you like to wait until after breakfast?".
Sometimes they need advance notice so they can get used to the idea, let them know when they get up in the morning "You're going to have a shower after breakfast, which clothes would you like me to take out for you to wear after your shower?" Then about 10-15 minutes before shower time, tell them you are going to get the water going and the bathroom warmed up so the water and the bathroom will be nice and warm and ready for them.
Another thing that works is to give them a reason why they need to take a shower and get cleaned up. "You have a doctor's appointment after lunch today", or "A friend is coming over later on to visit, so we need to get you washed up". If none of those are really the case, if the person you are caring for like to go for rides, or even go have a burger at McDonald's...you can use an outing as an incentive for them to want to get washed up. "I was thinking after your shower, we can take a ride downtown and stop at DQ for an ice cream".
Then other people, you just need to corner them while they are in the bathroom using the toilet "OK, while you're in here let's get in a quick shower", then go ahead and get the shower and bathroom ready while they're using the toilet.
Last time I tried to get my mom into the shower I almost broke my own back. So.....no more showers. she does nothing to work up a sweat so a sponge bath is good enough. Just fil up the bathroom floor with towels, haver her stand there and go over her like a car wash. Over in 5minutes - thats all you need. I just bought a hair washing hose and a tray so I can wash her hair separately. What is it with these old people and water though...you would think they were going to drown when the get some water on their face. I give my mother Purel to wash her hands during the day. It is all about ADAPTATION. Paul
When my Grandmother was under my care, I just had to remain very calm. The elderly get cold very fast so a very efficient space heater was placed in the bathroom for at least a half an hour before. Once she was in the tub because she did not like showers, I couldn;t get her out because it was so relaxing. I used many many warm towels from the dryer so of course my children would run for me. It was worth all of the work.
This is not uncommon. Here are a few suggestions: -Do a "weekly bath" - everyday washing one part of her body using washcloths. For example, Monday wash her arms, armpits and back, Tuesday, feet and legs. Ask her to take that body part out of her clothes one at a time to wash, dry and then switch. It takes longer but they be more open to this. Sometimes you could time it during a trip to the washroom and use that as an excuse to clean the genitals. -Set up a bath schedule and use a calendar. Use incentives to get her to bathe, such as telling her she has to bathe before her favorite TV show comes on or she'll get her favorite dessert. Once or twice a week is sufficient for seniors if they are not incontinent. -Temperature - Turn up the heat to keep the bathrooms warm. Seniors are often cold when we are wearing short sleeves. If there is tile in the bathroom, cover them with a plush non-slip bath rug (watch her for falls). If you have an overhead heater, turn that on. Wear a t-shirt so you're not overheated! -Make it like a spa - scented soaps/lotions, heated towels (they make heated towel bars/containers or pluck them from the dryer) and a warm fuzzy bathrobe. -Make sure the bathroom is safe - use bath chairs, non-slip mats/appliques, grab bars. If they don't feel safe, they will not bathe. -Install a hand-held shower. Some people don't like the water spray in the face as often happens when sitting in a shower chair. This also allows the warm water to pour over them as they wash and they feel like a greater sense of control. -Use powders, body sprays, etc to help cover the body odor when you just can't get them to bathe. -If their depression/anxiety is significantly impairing their ability to care for themselves, speak with a doctor to see if an anti-anxiety can be prescribed and taken before the shower. **Always follow a doctor's advice**
And lastly, many home care agencies offer a bathing service so that you don't have to do the "dirty work". Hire them and then go out for a cup of coffee to de-stress. If you can't hire someone, ask relatives to step up for this onerous task.
kthln3, I hope you have that in a "living will" Your will wouldn't be read and valid until you die, and it will be too late for a nursing home then! Your healthcare directive is the appropriate place for this information.
My sister and I are older adults. Our father is an even older adult. We all agree that since we got 'older', we don't like to take baths or showers anymore. None of us knows why. My sister washes up every other day or so and takes a full shower once a week. My father forces himself to take a shower every day. As for me, I have to have an incentive. Every time we make an excuse to not bathe, it reinforces the behavior. This may sound odd, but we don't get the "aahhhh, it feels so good to be clean" feeling anymore. Again, we don't know why, but chalk it up as a part of aging. So, without that incentive, it feels like a big hassle. Hope this helps.
Mom is terrified of the tub and even more terrified of the stall shower because it has a large step over. She's fallen twice, and since the first fall, is reluctant to go in. It has not been modified, which was a BIG mistake. If it had been modifiied sooner in her decline, she's probably be more inclined to shower now. It's an ordeal to get her to shower and thank goodness her caregivers are patient and persistent. Mom fights and argues. When she actually volunteers to take a shower, we all stop what we are doing immediately and run to the bath. She "knows" she's not to take a shower alone, but we have to keep an eye out all the time. She cannot use that shower unattended. I could not do this alone and was having incredible difficulty before the professional caregivers started and this is the #1 item on their daily "to do" list.
My mother lives in assisted living facility with a large walk in shower. She seemed quite nervous about the whole thing so i bought a teak bench to sit down on and found a way for her to reach soap and shampoo without standing. now she seems to enjoy showering a lot more even though she has chosen 2AM as her favorite time. She also suffers from incontinence though which seems to be a poular luchch topic where she lives. Most of the advice residents give each other is not helpful.........at the risk of understatement.And as in many assisted facilities when i got them to break down the bill we are being charged for asisistance with showering although no one but me has ever helped. I have learned however that if I complain about a relly strange monthly charge i'll simply get hit with a much larger fee for a whole service that won;t happen either. i went on Glassdoor website to see what employees complained about at different facilities where they worked and the fake shower help fee seemed to ourage a lot of former employees across the country..
SueC, thanks for sharing your insights on bathing in tubs. I think it's difficult for some folks to understand that getting into a tub, even in ages which aren't considered elderly, can be difficult if not dangerous, for both the bather and the helper. It's better to find a safer way to keep clean, and those ways do exist.
I always feel sad for the elder person when I read the frustration and annoyance of people who think that elders need to get into bathtubs and have immersion baths or showers to keep clean.
Sometimes they need advance notice so they can get used to the idea, let them know when they get up in the morning "You're going to have a shower after breakfast, which clothes would you like me to take out for you to wear after your shower?" Then about 10-15 minutes before shower time, tell them you are going to get the water going and the bathroom warmed up so the water and the bathroom will be nice and warm and ready for them.
Another thing that works is to give them a reason why they need to take a shower and get cleaned up. "You have a doctor's appointment after lunch today", or "A friend is coming over later on to visit, so we need to get you washed up". If none of those are really the case, if the person you are caring for like to go for rides, or even go have a burger at McDonald's...you can use an outing as an incentive for them to want to get washed up. "I was thinking after your shower, we can take a ride downtown and stop at DQ for an ice cream".
Then other people, you just need to corner them while they are in the bathroom using the toilet "OK, while you're in here let's get in a quick shower", then go ahead and get the shower and bathroom ready while they're using the toilet.
Paul
-Do a "weekly bath" - everyday washing one part of her body using washcloths. For example, Monday wash her arms, armpits and back, Tuesday, feet and legs. Ask her to take that body part out of her clothes one at a time to wash, dry and then switch. It takes longer but they be more open to this. Sometimes you could time it during a trip to the washroom and use that as an excuse to clean the genitals.
-Set up a bath schedule and use a calendar. Use incentives to get her to bathe, such as telling her she has to bathe before her favorite TV show comes on or she'll get her favorite dessert. Once or twice a week is sufficient for seniors if they are not incontinent.
-Temperature - Turn up the heat to keep the bathrooms warm. Seniors are often cold when we are wearing short sleeves. If there is tile in the bathroom, cover them with a plush non-slip bath rug (watch her for falls). If you have an overhead heater, turn that on. Wear a t-shirt so you're not overheated!
-Make it like a spa - scented soaps/lotions, heated towels (they make heated towel bars/containers or pluck them from the dryer) and a warm fuzzy bathrobe.
-Make sure the bathroom is safe - use bath chairs, non-slip mats/appliques, grab bars. If they don't feel safe, they will not bathe.
-Install a hand-held shower. Some people don't like the water spray in the face as often happens when sitting in a shower chair. This also allows the warm water to pour over them as they wash and they feel like a greater sense of control.
-Use powders, body sprays, etc to help cover the body odor when you just can't get them to bathe.
-If their depression/anxiety is significantly impairing their ability to care for themselves, speak with a doctor to see if an anti-anxiety can be prescribed and taken before the shower. **Always follow a doctor's advice**
And lastly, many home care agencies offer a bathing service so that you don't have to do the "dirty work". Hire them and then go out for a cup of coffee to de-stress. If you can't hire someone, ask relatives to step up for this onerous task.
Every time we make an excuse to not bathe, it reinforces the behavior. This may sound odd, but we don't get the "aahhhh, it feels so good to be clean" feeling anymore. Again, we don't know why, but chalk it up as a part of aging. So, without that incentive, it feels like a big hassle. Hope this helps.
I always feel sad for the elder person when I read the frustration and annoyance of people who think that elders need to get into bathtubs and have immersion baths or showers to keep clean.
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