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For a while now, my parents have accused me of entering their home when they’re out of town and stealing from them. At their request, I submitted to a polygraph exam they arranged. I believe my sister and brother-in-law encouraged and supported this (for their own selfish reasons). On day of polygraph, my parents picked me up and took me to the exam. 3 hours later the exam was done and I returned to the lobby where my parents had been waiting.
When then examiner (retired police officer) came out, he informed my parents that I passed and was not in anyway involved in anything missing from their home. Much to my chagrin, I received a phone call the next day from my parents, advising they didn’t believe the examiner and “they knew better” and what was going on. Because my sister and brother-in-law have been given durable power of attorney (because of false allegations against me), they refuse to communicate with me regarding my parents. Background, I rent a property from my parents about 2 miles away. I pay rent and have never missed a payment, even after my husband died (5 years ago) and they were well aware that my income dramatically changed. Fast forward, I have made many repairs to the property because my parents weren’t receptive to my requests to fix things around the property. I do have receipts for everything I’ve spent my money on. It’s now been 1 year since the polygraph exam however, my parents still believe I’m stealing from them and continue to accuse me. My concern: Do I need to retain a lawyer in the event a criminal complaint is filed based on their accusations? I also believe their trust documents have been changed as a result of the accusations. Appreciate any thoughts/guidance anyone can share regarding this situation.

Give the receipts to your sister and BIL for reimbursement. If you aren’t paid for the repairs, don’t make any more. You will not need a lawyer unless there is hard evidence you did commit a crime and charges are brought against you. Do not engage with your sister, BIL or parents about anything so you don’t unintentionally incriminate yourself. Stay away. 

If your parents have dementia, there is no reasoning with them. They are receptive to anything your sister and BIL tell them. Unless you are very cash strapped and are paying very minimal rent, I’d get the heck out of Dodge. Find an apartment that has no ties to any of them. If you have a key to their house, give it to Sis, NOT to your parents. They will forget you gave it to them. The fact that your parents would force their own child to take a lie detector test and not even to trust their child to go on their own but feel the need to accompany them to witness the result is beyond incomprehensible to me.

You are obviously not trusted by these people, for whatever reason. They will keep making accusations. Sis and BIL will keep putting ideas in their broken brains. Get out now. Make your own life without them.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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My dear; I would move away if you can and have nothing more to do with your parents. They've burned their bridges.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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I agree with Ahmijoy that you need to stay away from your parents and your Sis and BIL. It is heart-rending, I know. You feel betrayed by someone who is suppose to love you.

My Mom and I had lived together for 9 years when in 2017, my Mom was hospitalized and then moved into a nursing home. My Mom has Major Depression with Delusions and Mild Dementia. Unfortunately, my Mom accused my brother and I of stealing from her and gambling away our farms. Luckily I was able to produce all receipts and could account for every penny spent. But I almost had to move out of the house that I had lived in for 9 years. I freaked out when I heard that. I think that you need to take the first step and move out of the house that your parents own. That way they can't force you to move unexpectedly and at an inopportune time for you financially.

As Ahmijoy said, " You are obviously not trusted by these people, for whatever reason...Get out now. Make your own life without them." I am so sorry that it is your parents that distrust you. May God be with you during this time of trouble and heartache.
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Reply to DeeAnna
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Cut your losses and leave this toxic family behind. I don't normally say something like that, but your situation is truly different than most. They are not going to rest (including all of them in this "they" - Mom, Dad, in-laws, etc) until you are either behind bars or in your grave. Don't let them poison your life one more second. Make the plans you need to make, give them back anything of theirs that you have (keys, etc) and cut them loose.  Take the rent money you've been paying them and find somewhere more pleasant to live.  Life is too short to live like this. 
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Reply to AnonymousMember
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Susan is right - their broken brain persecution of you will not get better - as long as you are around, sister and BIL will stir the pot for their own purposes. If they are POAs let them take responsibility for your parents and move yourself to a safe place. You really don't need to be around these toxic people. You will feel like a heavy load is lifted once you are safe from them. "Parents in name only" don't qualify as the real deal. You deserve much better. You are really patient - if my parents tried a lie detector test on me - well we won't go there.
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Reply to rovana
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My mom was like this my entire life, I can so relate to your plight! Like the others
are saying it wont get better and it could get a whole lot worse. Move away, the
farther the better!!! Know you've got good company when it comes to being the
odd one out with a dysfunctional family. ((((hugs))))
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Reply to bettina
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Good Luck with finding a new place to live. I am wondering if it might be better if you DID NOT TELL your parents or your sister and brother-in-law that you are PLANNING to move. Maybe wait until you find a new place and have paid the security deposit and have packed your belongings BEFORE you tell them.

You may have to pack your belongings and move them to a storage unit for safe keeping while you look for an apartment or house. Sounds weird, but considering the way that your family has treated you; I wouldn't put it past them to go through all of your belongings that you have boxed up to see if you are taking any of their property. {SIGH}

I have some concern that the polygraph exam may decrease the number of apartment complexes or home rental companies that will rent to you. So when you talk to the manager, ask them what type of background check do they do prior to renting you an apartment or a house. You may have to tell the manager about the polygraph--but wait and see what information the apartment complex or house rental company wants before volunteering that you had to take a polygraph exam.
Good Luck and God Bless.
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Reply to DeeAnna
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The one thing that came to mind is if they think your stealing why not change the locks and not give you a key. I would suggest it. Giving back your key would mean nothing. Copies can always be made.

I agree, you need to move. Just forget about the repairs, doubt if you'd get your money back. You may never know why they treat you the way they do. My GF is still trying to figure this out and she is 69. For some reason her Mom never loved her. To the point she sent her away every Summer to visit relatives. She has asked these relatives and they don't answer her. Very sad.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I’m so happy to have been heard and feelings validated. Thank you all who took the time to read and reply to my post. I guess I already knew I need to move away and out of “their” house. I’ve lived here for 8 years and it’s a bit overwhelming to move. But, no choice. I’ve repeatedly asked them (parents) to get security system including cameras for their home so they could see what is going on at their home. They keep the doors unlocked in the back of the house (have for years). My opinion is that, no one is taking their things, they are misplacing them and the only thing that makes sense to them is that I must be “stealing” them? They were awesome parents my whole life, until this horrible disease changed everything. They don’t even know me anymore. It’s beyond heartbreaking.
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Reply to TLuser1
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What a disturbing mess to be in. It breaks my heart. My husband's family kinda did this to him as well, but it was long before the dementia dx for my mil. I always chalked it up to greed and jealousy.
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Reply to Lostinthemix
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