Thanks for your support and understanding. I took mom out today to get her hair done and get small gifts for some of our family. She was used to giving large amounts of money and expensive gifts, this year is going to be a lot different with things from the dollar store, but she did not argue with me. At least it did lift her spirits and gave her a change of scenery from the nursing home.
Change is always never easy, for anyone and change that comes with illness, is the hardest to cope with. Life is like a wheel, when we were young, our parents were the ones to worry and to some extent restrict our activities, remember how we may have rebelled... Well, the shoe is on the other foot now and we stand in their place and sometimes, it gets real frustrating, when you have only their best interest at heart (just as they had our best interest at heart, when they held the wheel).
My advice is this, even though things may get so very difficult, if we only can step back, for just a moment and look at them, as children, we will find the inner strength to handle any situation.
If your child were to give you a hard time, will you give up on them? I would not, because I love and care for them. It is the same with our parents, when they grow old.
When illness takes hold of them, they sometimes cannot be blamed for their actions and we have to look deep inside our own selves, to find the courage and the love, to cope, knowing very well, that we maybe yelled at, or blamed for... but we carry on, knowing that while we do the right thing by our parents, we will be fine and if we look to the Lord to give us the strength we need, He surely will bless us with the courage to face all things.
I have read so many of the situations, that appear on this site, from caregivers who just find themselves nearing the end of their tether and my hearts goes out to them, however, I still find myself asking the same question, what if the tables were turned and we were the ones with the problem and our parents were the ones having to cope with it.... would they be handling the situation, the same way, or will they cope, however they can, because you are their child..... I can only leave each one of you to answer it... God bless.
You said it Annie. Sometimes I feel like there is not enough gratitude or respect for elders in our society. I wonder if part of the problems is that our socieity has created a system where it is not considered a normal part of family life to care for our elders.
I wonder what will happen when I am old, will I be someone who is "put up with"? I shudder to think that no matter what, being old is not respected.
Mom wants to go shopping. I get it, but what she doesn't get is that I have been going to the chiropractor for 3 weeks since my neck and shoulders are so bad. Yet, she keeps asking to go out. Can't lift the wheelchair, so in a week, my husband and I are going to take her out. She cares for nothing but herself. Question. Do we all get life that? If so, shoot me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank God my brother and his wife are doing Christmas. I just don't have it in me this year. Sunday, someone is coming to look at the house! Cross your fingers. Selling a home these days is just a disaster!!!!
Sorry to hear you're in pain, lovingdaughter. Praying you will heal and be able to enjoy all the blessings of Christmas. As for your mother, is there someone else who can take her out, and help you out? That would give you a little respite, and perhaps some time to relax. Also hoping the sale of your home goes well. A great ELP we found said it's a "buyer's market, and price is everything..." That's not always good for the seller. At least you have one, and can be thankful, because so many are losing theirs. Best wishes! :) Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.
Sister, Thanks so much. Went to load mom into the car. One of her caregivers was taking her to a Christmas Play. The car was dead!!!!!!! Her lift seat was dead. Had to get a neighbor to jump start it. Thanks God for wonderful neighbors. Need to go the the Count My Blessings thread today!!!!!!!
Happy Holidays! Tis the season of crazy busy-ness added to the top of our already busy lives. I have missed you guys but things have been rather busy lately. My dad is all worried about where my brother will spend the holidays (I sold the house this summer, remember) and I retorted "with his girlfriend" - dad now has a rash and they are wanting me to do his laundry. I have spoken with dr twice and she says NO. It is just his nerves and his worries. It makes me mad b/c m/w my brother doesnt care!
Lovingdaughter - my dad's house was on market less than a month and it sold. A 40 year old house! God has a will of working things out! It is so AWESOME to see a lit tree in the window when we drive by - haven't seen that in years!
Change is always never easy, for anyone and change that comes with illness, is the hardest to cope with.
Life is like a wheel, when we were young, our parents were the ones to worry and to some extent restrict our activities, remember how we may have rebelled...
Well, the shoe is on the other foot now and we stand in their place and sometimes, it gets real frustrating, when you have only their best interest at heart (just as they had our best interest at heart, when they held the wheel).
My advice is this, even though things may get so very difficult, if we only can step back, for just a moment and look at them, as children, we will find the inner strength to handle any situation.
If your child were to give you a hard time, will you give up on them? I would not, because I love and care for them. It is the same with our parents, when they grow old.
When illness takes hold of them, they sometimes cannot be blamed for their actions and we have to look deep inside our own selves, to find the courage and the love, to cope, knowing very well, that we maybe yelled at, or blamed for... but we carry on, knowing that while we do the right thing by our parents, we will be fine and if we look to the Lord to give us the strength we need, He surely will bless us with the courage to face all things.
I have read so many of the situations, that appear on this site, from caregivers who just find themselves nearing the end of their tether and my hearts goes out to them, however, I still find myself asking the same question, what if the tables were turned and we were the ones with the problem and our parents were the ones having to cope with it.... would they be handling the situation, the same way, or will they cope, however they can, because you are their child..... I can only leave each one of you to answer it...
God bless.
I wonder what will happen when I am old, will I be someone who is "put up with"? I shudder to think that no matter what, being old is not respected.
Lovingdaughter - my dad's house was on market less than a month and it sold. A 40 year old house! God has a will of working things out! It is so AWESOME to see a lit tree in the window when we drive by - haven't seen that in years!
Hugs to all!