One of our siblings has been living with our very elderly mother for several years due to personal/financial issues, with some health and job issues added recently. Sibling does not pay rent or contribute financially, there is no lease, has no rights to the house. We are trying to find out if s/he has legally changed his/her address to the house as that may mean s/he has some more standing to be there. Our mother would like sibling to move out in the near-term, but at a minimum, she wants sibling to vacate when she is no longer in the home and she does not want sibling to buy or rent the home from the siblings. We are not clear how much she has communicated any of this to sibling.
Our collective relationships are fine, and while sibling doesn't assist as much as s/he should, it's somewhat positive that there is an able-bodied person in her home given her age, so we are not pressuring sibling to leave. Sibling is a difficult person to speak to, however, and gets very defensive/annoyed if anyone mentions the very favorable terms of occupancy (free) and/or sibling is ever asked about plans to move out, so discussions on the matter have been very limited and uncomfortable. As POA and executor, however, another sibling and I would like there to be clear instructions relative to his occupancy once our mother leaves the house and/or passes, and at present, there are not.
I approached our mother suggesting amending the will to address this issue as well as drawing up a document which governs the situation prior to the will being in effect given she may want or need to sell the house and move and sibling occupancy could prevent this from happening. We tried to convey without some directive in place, it could hamper her ability to sell the house and use the funds to move, and/or it could lead to a family member having to evict sibling from the house. Our mother understands our concerns and agrees it could be a problem given sibling's lack of clear plans or motivation, but hesitates to go down this road even though she knows she may be leaving a mess for other children to rectify.
And full disclosure, another sibling is special needs and I will be the guardian once my mother is no longer able/passes, so that is another driving force in wanting to button down this issue as I will have other responsibilities to address. I spoke with a lawyer and she indicated we could draw up a document outside of the will (for the period before she passes) and also amend the will related to giving notice to vacate the house, inheritance being held back or lost if s/he didn't comply, etc., but the lawyer did not seem overly familiar with this type of situation. We are not looking to do any of this behind sibling's back, and understand some of these docs may require his/her signature or acknowledgement-- which could open a can of worms -- but would at least advise sibling of future expectations and hopefully limit other siblings angst. Wondering if anyone has any similar experiences or suggestions as to how to address. Thanks