Elderly mother with depression will not accept care. What to do?

My brother has POA and I have HCPOA. I do not live with my mom, but am nearest living child bs bro. He lives w her, takes care of the house, makes sure she takes her meds (although he’s basically taking her word for it), takes her to dr. Appts (when she used to allow it), and listens to her fret about “the end of the world” much of the day- which is taking a toll on him. One minute she invites me to visit then 30 mins before i head out I get the call “moms not feeling well today, let’s do it another time”. ‘Not feeling well’ typically means she is having an anxiety episode- uncontrollable shaking, feeling nauseous, unreasonably scared over non-reslity, overwhelming thoughts of doom. When shes left alone my bro says these symptoms subside so he allows this isolation to keep her from falling back into into them. She is obv easier to handle when shes calm.

Yes- all those points about her fears are right on . Never diagnosed w Parkinsons but hasnt been to dr in over 2 years- she used to be religious about it. My sibs and I believe my bro is no longer capable of caregiving- as she was mostly independent in all things until recently- he doesn’t think we understand the situation bc we are not living there and don’t see the day to day issues- he is convinced its bc she is just getting old and her depression/anxiety is normal- which it isn’t - it’s scary and uncomfortable for everyone- and out of character for mom- if she ever had any mental issues during her long life, none of us ever saw it!

Yes- but how do we get her to interact with doctors? Its what brings on her terrible anxiety episodes. She says they are “going to put her away in an insane asylum”. both my brother and i discuss things w her psychiatrist- but we do have to wait and see each time he adjusts her meds, so the process has been long

Hi TChamp - per OP's profile, her mother is 94 y.o.. I think it's too to accelerate death. Death would actually be kind.