Elderly mother trashing appliances. How do I get her to stop?

LivingSouth, I believe you are in the state of "denial". I watched my mother live there for several years in dealing with my father's vascular dementia. Despite the dementia diagnosis, despite living with my father and observing his behavior changes, despite seeing Dad struggle at times to execute simple multiple step tasks, Mom still saw Dad in her mind's eye as the capable man he had been for decades. She would ask him to "look at" or "fix" something or try to talk to him about his dementia driven behavior as though she expected him to be able to change that behavior. It never worked.

It didn't work because my Dad's brain didn't work very well anymore - dementia was in control. He could not change his behavior regardless of the motivation. The only way to change Dad's behavior was to limit his options - by physical changes (like securing potentially dangerous materials in locked cabinets) or supervision (locater bracelet, cameras you can monitor when out of the house, in home attendant, or MC).

Please accept that the Mom you have known for decades is gone. The dementia brain your Mom has now is neither thoughtful nor predictable. She doesn't want to cause problems and has a limited capacity to understand how she has caused problems - so she cannot change her behavior to avoid causing those problems again in the future. Now you need to change your behavior. You need to accept where your mother really is on the dementia journey. You need to make your home safe for your mother or you need to find a good facility for her. It's a really difficult turn in the road.

I would like to think a 10 year old knows better so lets say 3 year old. So, like a 3 year old, those little eye and hook that screw in top of a door out of reach. If you can put up laundry detergent out of reach. Mom has a special garbage can with plastic bags in her room with a portable commode. She has privacy and all paper products go in the can. Small appliances in cabinets with child proof locks. Child proof the toilet. They also have child proof for faucets. Child proof the outlets that appliances plug into.
Your initial costs out weigh replacing appliances, repair services and her safety. She is a busy bee that that's good but needs to be disciplined. Give her projects to do, scrap booking, clipping coupons in magazines, dusting nic-nacs, small picture frames, etc. Good Luck.

There is nothing you can do to stop your mother's behavior. I agree with the other answers - she can not be left alone. What you descirbe sounds all too familiar to me having been through it with my M-I-L. First we took away car keys after her calling us several times from the road forgetting how to use the windshield wipers or saying she was lost. We had to turn off the circuit breakers for the stove, microwave, and dishwasher. She would call in the middle of night asking why we didn't come to see her when we had just been there earlier in the day. We found her in a vacant lot near her home one hot summer day pulling weeds and she thought it was a perfectly reasonable thing to be doing. My point is the behaviors will increase. For her sake and yours please consider in home care or start looking at assisted living or memory care communities. M-I-L is now in an assisted living and is happy; she has constructive activities and socialization and lots of attention. Please don't underestimate the toll caregiving takes. You don't have to give up your health or peace of mind.

I hate to add to the chorus, but your mother can't be left alone any more. Because she *thinks* she's fine, and she isn't physically disabled, she will cheerfully go ahead with any household task that pops into her head. It's a fire, an electrical fault, a fall, a serious injury waiting to happen.

I paused for several minutes to think what to add on a positive note, but I can't find one. I'm sorry.

Exactly similar events happened to us. Please get it checked by a doctor and manage her in a kind way. She probably has early symptoms of dementia.

The simple answer to your question is that you can’t. As was said, Mom can’t be left on her own. You said you found her outside. Next time, God forbid, you may not find her. People with dementia go from one obsession to the other. If she’s alone all day, you’re playing with fire so to speak. You should start thinking about a facility or a home health aid for her. It’s not easy, but for her safety and your’s, it’s for the best.

If you can't turn off a circuit you can still unplug the washer and shut off the water supply, but even then it really sounds as though she has reached the point where she shouldn't be left unsupervised.

When I got back today, she was sitting outside ( despite the fact I tell her not to ) and had a broken clothes detergent pod in her hand - and all over her clothes. She got mad when I asked her if she had tried to eat it! I was thinking, should I take her to ER? I bought a cute pedal type waste basket for the depends - but they never end up in it. End up on floor and the other day found a used one in her drawer - now everything in there smells like urine. Can't turn off circuit or it will turn off air conditioning also. She is also seeing things - said strange man in backyard - scared me to death ( there's a sex offender next door) . No one there.

I know what you mean. Faucet or shower running forever until I catch it. Washes fingers(not all of the hands) and shuts the water on and off, no soap though.
Washes dishes and puts them in the rack with food and grease still on them.
Today was a new one. Poured water on the counter and tried cutting it with a knife.
Cuts her panties( diaper). Not so bad currently but still messy. Fortunately she has quit trying to use the microwave. Once she warmed up her coffee for twenty five minutes. Boy did I have a mess to clean. Glad it wasn't beans.
Could not get her to stop but she did on her own.
Had to remove the knobs from the stove since she almost created a bomb by getting one lit and the other was just on with gas escaping. (Opened doors and started fan)
Turned coffee maker on with nothing in to be warmed up. Tears the bed apart and brought the covers and sheets to me.
Doesn't pull pants down far enough and pees on them.
She has aphasia which prevents her from explaining why she does things.
The best I can suggest is to get some running shoes.
Sorry
When I talk to her about these things she looks at me like I am an alien invader from another planet.

hi you explain all of that well!
im exhausted picturing all that in my head! 

I thought maybe you were just venting. but you said how to get her to stop?

I don't know. sounds like you do need to follow her around :(

hide the soap or put out a very small container  - put up "out of order" signs
put water saver faucet on tap - it runs a little slower tho

I know if I lived with my mom she would cut stuff up with her scissors! she loves to cut ...but never pastes! oh and don't give my mom a sharpie marker!

I was there when Mom went to the bathroom. She would take forever washing her hands and running the water the whole time. I sat outside the door because I had to clean her up. I had a trashcan with a flip top and lined with a plastic trash bag that I put soiled Depends in. (I tried to get as much #2 as I could off first)

You need to be proactive now. Sounds like your Mom needed to be watched. I agree, unplug or shut off the circuit braker. If you have to, put a lock on your laundry room. If Mom is doing these things don't leave her alone.

Turn the breaker box circuit to the washer/dryer off? Give her a "special trash can" for just depends? ARGH! Bless you....stay sane!