My mother who is 80 and in very poor health point blank refuses carers or any outside help. The added problem of this is I live in another country 7000 miles away and my brother lives far away as well. I really try to do what I can, organise the shopping, travel back every 8 weeks, sort out house maintenance.
Since my father died 2 years ago she has just gone really downhill. She doesn't eat much and drinks quite heavily. She has a good support of friends locally. The real issues here are that she basically wants me or my brother there. There is a lot of emotional blackmail, she can be very sharp tongued and has said a lot of nasty things in the past. If I don't call everyday she will be very harsh.
I know this sounds like I am being awful but although I love my mother, I don't really like her at times. I totally understand that losing my father was very hard, for all of us but she has become so bitter. She has always been a very depressive person, I sometime feel like because she isn't happy neither should her children be. It puts a strain on my relationship too. I am at a loss now. She frequently tells me she will not go in a care home and will kill herself first, she doesn't seem to understand that to listen to this on a near daily basis is draining and upsetting. I sadly dread having to call her.
Does anybody have any advice for me? Thanks in advance