"Overly sensitive' In my family the word was 'thin skinned". It was one of my father's ways of devaluating anything I had to say (mainly as he wanted to be in charge of the conversation.) However, my younger brother and 2 sisters still perceive me in that way. Verbal abuse is abuse, and it is much harder to take care of someone who abused you instead of cared for you. If you are in the states, call your local council on Aging, or county aging services department and find out which ASAP (Aging Services Access Point) covers your area. The folks there have lots of resources that can help..support for you but also a way to decrease your caregiver burden. Time at an adult day health center, planned van rides to the local senior center for activities and a hot lunch (gets them out 11-3,) etc. If there are other family members involved, they need to step up - provide respite care for you so you can leave for regular3 day periods, OR pay for hired live in help, either live in 24 hour care for 3 days at a time, or some other schedule that suits you. If your parents are balking at this...time for you to leave them. Tough love. Adult Protective services can take over completely.
This is quite common, this blaming others for misplaced items. If you are caring for your Mom and you Dad you truly could use some support. If you are experiencing feelings of depression get help from a therapist to comb out your thoughts and feelings, and to have a supportive listener, one trained to help you. Wishing you the very best.
Why do you feel that you're responsible for your mothers care when she is only 46 years old according to your profile? Good grief, I have a daughter who is soon to be 43 and she home schools her 2 teenage daughters who remain at home, cares for my oldest granddaughter who hasn't been able to walk since a hip surgery that she had 1 1/2 years ago, plus is taking online courses to complete her schooling. Your mom is WAY too young to be needing you to care for her, so I'm glad that you're moving out soon. There is no reason that you have to put up with her nonsense, nor care for her. She is not your responsibility, but is your fathers, so hand the reigns back over to him and get the heck out of their house. It's time that you start living and enjoying your life, as the longer that you're there the more beat down you will become. So please for your mental health's sake get out ASAP.
And on a side note, I found great humor in the fact that you called your 46 year old mom "elderly."
If everyone in your family thinks you are 'overly sensitive', perhaps THEY should come care for your parents! The armchair critics are those who do nothing while pointing fingers at those who do everything. The worst of the worst offenders, in my opinion.
Has your mother been tested for dementia? I ask b/c accusing you of stealing her misplaced items, or putting them in different locations where she can't find them, is a typical behavior of an elder suffering from dementia. So is verbal abuse if it's new or worse than it ever was before. Here's a list of more symptoms to look out for:
Experiencing memory loss, poor judgment, and confusion Difficulty speaking, understanding and expressing thoughts, or reading and writing Wandering and getting lost in a familiar neighborhood Trouble handling money responsibly and paying bills Repeating questions Using unusual words to refer to familiar objects Taking longer to complete normal daily tasks Losing interest in normal daily activities or events Hallucinating or experiencing delusions or paranoia Acting impulsively Not caring about other people’s feelings Losing balance and problems with movement
Per your profile, you are planning to move out on May 1. See if you can get mom to the doctor for a cognitive evaluation so you know what you're dealing with beforehand, if possible.
If there are other family members involved, they need to step up - provide respite care for you so you can leave for regular3 day periods, OR pay for hired live in help, either live in 24 hour care for 3 days at a time, or some other schedule that suits you.
If your parents are balking at this...time for you to leave them. Tough love.
Adult Protective services can take over completely.
If you are caring for your Mom and you Dad you truly could use some support. If you are experiencing feelings of depression get help from a therapist to comb out your thoughts and feelings, and to have a supportive listener, one trained to help you. Wishing you the very best.
Your mom is WAY too young to be needing you to care for her, so I'm glad that you're moving out soon. There is no reason that you have to put up with her nonsense, nor care for her. She is not your responsibility, but is your fathers, so hand the reigns back over to him and get the heck out of their house. It's time that you start living and enjoying your life, as the longer that you're there the more beat down you will become. So please for your mental health's sake get out ASAP.
And on a side note, I found great humor in the fact that you called your 46 year old mom "elderly."
I’m well over 46 and still play hockey. But if you turn out the lights and only hear my knees, you might mistake me for “elderly”.
Has your mother been tested for dementia? I ask b/c accusing you of stealing her misplaced items, or putting them in different locations where she can't find them, is a typical behavior of an elder suffering from dementia. So is verbal abuse if it's new or worse than it ever was before. Here's a list of more symptoms to look out for:
https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/do-i-have-dementia/10-warning-signs-dementia
Experiencing memory loss, poor judgment, and confusion
Difficulty speaking, understanding and expressing thoughts, or reading and writing
Wandering and getting lost in a familiar neighborhood
Trouble handling money responsibly and paying bills
Repeating questions
Using unusual words to refer to familiar objects
Taking longer to complete normal daily tasks
Losing interest in normal daily activities or events
Hallucinating or experiencing delusions or paranoia
Acting impulsively
Not caring about other people’s feelings
Losing balance and problems with movement
Per your profile, you are planning to move out on May 1. See if you can get mom to the doctor for a cognitive evaluation so you know what you're dealing with beforehand, if possible.
Best of luck!