My husband and I have lived in the same town as his parents for decades. When our children were young, they helped care for our children as both my husband and I worked. None of my husband's siblings (older brother, sister and younger sister) live nearby. Flash forward decades...in December of 2018, my 93 year old father-in-law and 88 year old mother-in-law still lived in their own home and were primarily self-sufficient because of my father-in-law. He basically was my mother-in-law's caregiver for the past three to four years. My MIL suffers from numerous health issues, COPD, arthritis, high blood pressure, macular degeneration, impaired hearing, congestive heart failure, anxiety and depression. Her vision has deteriorated to the point that she does not see well. Her lifelong love of reading lost as well. In late November 2018, my FIL was diagnosed with cancer and passed two-weeks later. Following his death, we, as a family, had to make difficult decisions as to the care of my MIL. We sold my in-laws longtime home and most belongings and moved my MIL into an assisted living facility in January 2019. There were some difficult adjustment "pains", but we were pleasantly pleased at how well my MIL adjusted and adapted. Much of the everyday responsibility (i.e., medical appointments, grocery needs, going to church, etc.) falls upon my husband and I as we are the only local family. My MIL has been hospitalized numerous times since January due to her COPD - one involved a 10 plus day stay at a nursing home for rehab. When hospitalized, we visit daily, (oftentimes, multiple visits per day). Within the last month we have noticed a significant change in my MIL. She is ready to leave this world and doesn't understand why she is still here. She threatened to take pills she had in her room which led to the med staff at the assisted living facility removing all OTC meds from her room. She later stated she would never take her life, she was just looking for attention. Her anxiety can be off the charts but she can turn it on and off like a switch which makes me wonder if it is real or attention seeking. She wants all her children (including me) to call her daily...I flatly told her that I am not calling her everyday (I didn't speak to my own mother on a daily basis). Her older son and daughter do not call daily, but do call regularly. Her youngest daughter does call daily and of late, my MIL either calls my husband or he calls her daily. Most often she is calling my husband multiple times per day and will call me as well but not at the same frequency. Her latest ER visit was basically due to her being "tipsy" (forgive the pun) from her community Wine and Cheese day and she fell off her walker. Fortunately, she was not injured. She tried to rationalize the situation as having been from "getting too much oxygen". I was FURIOUS!!! I could go on and on. My MIL has always been a very "strong" personality. Historically, my MIL can be manipulative and intrusive, particularly with her children. I know her world has been turned upside down, but so has ours. Everything that now happens in her life impacts my husband and I. My husband and I have not really had an opportunity to grieve for his dad as we have been so involved in his mom's care and affairs (my husband is the executor for his dad's estate). I should also note, that my MIL's Pulmonologist suggested palliative care as an option due in part to her frequent ER/hospital visits. My MIL made the decision on her own to utilize palliative care as she fully trusts the doctor. You would think this would be a good and helpful thing, but it seems ever since, my MIL's obsessing, overthinking, anxiety, depression etc. has increased. Yet, I refuse to cater and feed into some of her demands and sometimes feel we are "being played". I do not feel that I am being unreasonable, but do feel badly at times, I have a good relationship with my MIL, but frankly, she is wearing us out! Am I being unrealistic?