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mnl was in fender bender and insists it was the other driver's fault.. witnesses at the scene prove it was her fault, which we felt all along. should we correct her, or let it go. (we have since taken her keys)

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1. Has your m-n-l been determined to have dementia? Have a nice talk with her, express your relief about no injuries to anyone, offer alternative transportation and get the keys.
2. If she has NOT be determined to have dementia, maybe she only needs to have her eyes checked and a cognitive check.
3. If she is perfectly in control of reality otherwise, it would be cruel to take her car from her. Just as it would be if your car were taken in a similar situation.
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If someone with dementia has a car accident, I'd be thankful no one was hurt and get the keys from her. You won't convince her of anything. Allowing further driving is very risky. Those responsible for her need to take charge. If she continues and hurts someone, those responsible for her are on notice.
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Oh yeah, here it is, from the Caregivers Behaving Badly thread:
Rainmom, just so I get the words right....

"However, I sure as hell can take it out on any poor slob in my path, on a tough day! Why, just today I gave the three fingered wave to a panting, purple faced security guard who was chasing after my car, yelling at me, in the parking garage because I took a short cut through their asinine rat maze."
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Rainmom, Are you absolutely sure that the side-swiping was not done when you were being chased down in a parking garage by a sweating, red-faced security guard for taking a short-cut? Maybe it happened then-I could look it up for you-in your own words? Lol. My my, now I am having doubts.
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My mother side-swiped a eight- foot round concert pillar in her IL parking garage which was the first floor with four floors of apartments on top of it. Mom told me it wasn't her fault because "they had it moved".
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If she was a teenager insisting that the accident wasn't her fault when it clearly was, correcting her might serve some purpose. It might help her learn accountability.

I see no purpose at all in trying to "correct" someone with dementia.
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She will not give in. Just keep the keys. Offer to buy the car, she will feel better if it stays in the family. You can sell it later.
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You don't argue with a dementia patient. It's quite a useless endeavor.
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Agree with GA. Doesn't matter whose fault it was you have taken the appropriate action which is the important part. just make such she isn'y house bound because she can no longer drive.
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What does the police report show? I'd look to that before listening to the other witnesses.

I also would question how you could "correct her?" Your profile indicates you're caring for someone with dementia. If this your MIL, actions arising from loss of functions due to dementia can't be corrected.

Don't chastise her; find another way to get her where she needs to go but don't make her feel any worse than she may already feel. Make trips with her a fun thing, stop for lunch afterward, go someplace she enjoys, go for walks, etc.
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Correct her how? Convince her it was her fault? No point in it if she has dementia. Just wasting your breath. But by all means, keep her out of the car.
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