My husband and myself live with my 83 year old Mother in Law, She has become verbally abusive to me, she says lies about me and I tell her to stop and she continues to yell at me. I had to call my husband to talk to her when she accused me of stealing from her and she yelled at both of us then tried to hit him. He had to restrain her and take her back to her room and she yelled and screamed but eventually calmed down. She has never approved of me and has been verbally abusive to me since we moved in with her over a year ago. I am getting so angry with her lies and verbal abuse, my husband says to ignore her, but it is hard. She sometimes cancels Dr appts, so my husband has not able to speak to her primary Dr in private. I think she may have dementia, and I am worried she could become violent and may need AL but my husband wants to keep her at home as long as possible, due to the cost.
Please help, this is affecting my marriage
Based on your husband's response your MIL has been that way she is for her entire life, He is too accustomed to everything, and willing to sacrifice your well-being to placate his manipulative mother.
All in all You will either:
1. leave, (after finding a new place to live).
2. stay to be abused and/or possibly accused of committing crimes against the MIL.
It's your choice, choose wisely.
WIth or without husband
I don't know if he's the chief decision-maker in all this, but if he is then your husband has to understand that he can't just move people into your mother's house and insist that she likes it, and that you put up with the fallout when it turns out that she doesn't like it and is abusive to you.
This must be horrendously stressful. Where were you living before? Can you move back there?