What can we do

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I'd suggest that first you get a realistic evaluation of what level of care that each of your parents need from their doctors. If they BOTH can show need for skilled nursing care, & thier MD will write orders fir skilled nursing needed then finding a NH and applying for NH Medicaid is what you will need to get done. It will be time consuming - especially if they still own a home - but do-able by whomever is the DPOA for them if both are going into a NH. NH Medicaid eligibility is pretty straightforward...they show need for skilled care as per their health chart and financial need which means they are basically impoverished. Unless they are very very low income to begin with, they will likely have some spend down to do. The DPOA can just spend down by paying a couple of mos at the NH or they can make it more complicated by getting preneed funeral/burial done, or doing a special needs medicaid compliant's the DPOAs call based on parents input.

But if its such that only 1 needs a NH and the other is good for IL or AL, it's going to be lots more complicated. Medicaid may have waivers programs available to help out to some degree. Every city is within an Area Agency on Aging. This site has a drop down list of AoAs by state. The AoA basically are regional planning and clearinghouses for all program for the aged who get federal, governmental & larger grant & foundation funding. You can find out what's what out there in your community at the AoA. personally I think that if it's 1 into a NH and the other still ok to continue to live in the community that you are best to gather thier finances together and meet with an elder law atty with your folks to see what can be done to have the community spouse retain as much $ as possible while the other is impoverished for Medicaid.

But realize that the vast majority of caregiving in the US is done by family and done for free. If you are hoping that the state will provide and pay for a caregiver to go to parents home everyday for 6-8 hrs a day or through the night to enable them to stay in their home or apt, that not going to happen.

For Medicaid, to me it's kinda central to remember that all Medicaud program are "at need", so they will have to show need both medically and financially for the specific medicaid program.
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Start the Medicaid process. Medicaid will pay for a nursing home for your mom. I don't know where your dad is or if he's living with your mom or what his health issues are but as far as your mom goes get her on Medicaid. The application process can take a while (months) so you might want to find your local Medicaid office and get started as soon as possible.
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