My elderly, nearly blind mom moved into a skilled nursing facility a month ago. I have been helping her in her independent living facility for the last 8 years, visiting at. Least 3 times a week. We made this decision to move her together because she could no longer administer her eye drops because of failing eyesight and I couldn't continue going to her home every day to do it. She agreed to the move, saying numerous times that she didn’t want to be a burden and wanted me to have my life back.
Now that she has moved, she still wants me to come every day, and, if I don’t because I have personal or family things to do, she is very nasty to me. Today she told me “to get my priorities straight” and hung up on me. As a result, I don’t want to visit her at all. I know she now has 24-hour assistance so is safe and cared for. I am going to have my life back - I plan to get on a regular schedule of visiting twice a week and calling her to check in on the other days,
I’m not feeling guilty or heartless - actually feeling ok with my decision. Feeling more ok than I have for a long time. Anyone else go through this or feel like this?
A month is not really long enough to adjust. Hopefully her LTC is like Moms. Afternoons were filled with projects, activities, movies outside entertainment. The aides were great in getting the ones that could, up and dancing. There was a woman who sat with her husband all day till dinner. I think she had more fun getting involved than the residents. We used to sit and talk since our LOs couldn't.
She will adjust. And you can't be everything for her.
Step back and do not visit for a week or so. It will give her and the staff and chance to get to know each other.