My mother has been on hospice care for 15 months for end stage congestive heart failure. It’s been a roller coaster ride, but she is still in her home with hospice coming in to help as well as me. I’ve been her caretaker for almost 9 yrs now. It’s not been easy. It’s not always been as hands-on as it is now, but she is very blind and she has needed my help in many ways throughout the years she has been by us. Today, Mom showed one of the nurses who was there, her left breast. OH MY GOODNESS! It is more than twice the size of her right breast, with red, inflamed skin over 2/3 of the breast and what looks like a tumor growing under her nipple! And it smells of rotting flesh! She has a large lump about the size of a golf ball in the breast. She’s def been hiding these changes from us until today, so I think it must really be bothering her. She complained about 2 months ago that she felt a lump in the breast, but it was pea size then and she said it was probably a cyst. The nurses checked it out. But she’s not on hospice for breast cancer. Well this “cyst” is now the size of a golf ball, along with the other changes. And she is concerned. She said she won’t do treatment. She wants nature to take its course. I respect that. And so does hospice. Hospice said they would do the wound care on it if she needs it. I asked hospice today to try and push her to go to our lovely hospice facility. They said they would start talking to her about it. She is still of sound mind, so they can’t force her to go. I am feeling that she needs to go more than anything now and I would be so relived that she will be taken care of better than how she is doing now. I’ve always respected that she stay in her own home for as long as it is feasible, but I don’t think it’s feasible anymore. She doesn’t want anyone coming in to care for her. I have to say that the possibility of this fast growing medical situation with her breast is a game changer for me. And there’s still the chf that is getting worse. So much going on with her. I don’t feel she is safe at home anymore. And I have health problems, so I can’t step it up anymore than I’m already doing. Do you think we should push her more to go to the facility? I think she would be relieved once she got there.
I’ve written in a few times for different things. I’m just at a loss as I feel as if the tide is changing and something has to change. Thanks all for listening.
BUT, they weren't open sores, which I think should be addressed, if only with the most basic wound care.
No, at 94, general anesthesia would not be a great option.
Talk to mom's dr and ask for the outcome--obviously, cancer this far gone is probably not very treatable and having come out of cancer myself, I can say that I would not have survived the aggressive treatment that I had to go through. I won't do it again, under any circumstances.
I'd say keep her as comfortable and pain free as possible and do treat the sores as best can be done.
Not to be blunt and seem mean--but at 94? And with these co morbid issues--I would be expecting not a long time until she succumbs to one or the other. Keeping her calm, out of pain and loved until the end is the kindest thing you can do.
Bless you, this is going to be hard on all of you.
Hospice used a cream and bandages to help with the awful smell of the cancer on my sister's breast, just a raw sore that smelled terrible.
Kitty litter under her bed helped with the smell as well.
I am sorry that your mom is dealing with this situation on top of CHF. May God grant you all the wisdom to know what is best.
While she may have quite a cyst there with an infection, if this is breast cancer it is very unlikely it went from pea size to this in several months time unless it infected which is unusual. Breast cancer usually sends out its tendrils in a very quiet way. And seldom does go to ulceration. It will eventually, but often in years.
So sorry you are dealing with this, and definitely yes on the wound care. I hope she will accept the move. I think it would be easier with this complication, and even toward the end with the need to medication to prevent breathlessness, but that is only a guess. You may need to tell her that you are moving her because she now needs more care than you can provide, and reassure her you will be there as much as you are able.
That this takes years is good to know because she acted like she woke up one morning to this situation and I never did believe that. Maybe just a different kind of awakening.