The elderly man I care for is accusing me of stealing his checks and writing them for myself. What can I do?

Helper...

Who is "the other girl who is there"?
What about the elderly gentleman's wife? - is she receiving care too?
Were you originally working through the agency, then agreed later to this private arrangement?

The part about the checks, I agree with Rainmom, is your main trouble. Did the other caregiver tell you, and you believed her, that she had your client's permission to write checks for him? Is your client also accusing her of stealing from him?

Forgery is a really serious crime. It does sound as if you may have been party to it; but it is possible that you are an innocent party. The silver lining is that because you were paid by check there is a clear record of how much money has passed through your hands. You should also be able to present a record of how much work you have been doing over the last twelve months; so if you've received roughly what would be expected for the work done, this will help you to show that you haven't been - well, stealing.

The gentleman agrees that he did pay you back for money you spent for him. This is very important: it shows that he was aware that you were running errands for him and that he was happy for you to do that and, above all, that he *expected* you to be paid. He can't, for example, have thought you were just a friendly helpful neighbour - not over that length of time. And more importantly, since he wanted you to be reimbursed - how did he think that was being done? Was he in fact aware, had he given his permission, for the other caregiver to use his check book?

I'd like you to think about going to the police or APS yourself. If there is a free legal advice centre or a pro bono law office near you, go there first and take advice; but I do honestly think your best way out of this mess is to report it.

This couple does need care. They have been using and paying for care services. The husband is now very upset and angry about misdeeds that do seem to have gone on, which you were aware of but not actively party to. If you blow the whistle it will prevent any further abuses and alert APS to their risky living situation.

Without a written contract, it's a "he said, she said" situation. Get out of there--whatever he's paying you, it's not worth that aggravation and abuse, and you certainly do not want to be accused of crimes you did not commit which will cost you a fortune to defend yourself. If I were you I would quit--it's time to stop taking care of him and let a nursing home -- or his family--do it. Drop him off at a local hospital and go (if he's that bad off; if not, just quit). If the man has family it's just a matter of time they too will be accusing you of things. Family is the first people to, as the saying goes,  stab caregivers in the back.

Get legal advice from an attorney.

The only person that is allowed to indorse a check is POA He most likely has the start of Alzheimers.
It does not get better,They -in their mind is that everyone is stealing from them.If he was confronted
His story would change daily. They go through many changes-- they sometimes think there is someone in their bedroom & they have had the person arrested.
Or someone is looking in the window.My sister went through many changes .She called on a Fri crying & telling me herbrother inlaw & girlfriend ere trying to steel her good set of dishes & were taking tools from the shed - her hubby had passed away & she rally sounded convincing. I later in the day phoned & said I was co I got out to have a chat with her & the brother in-law- sheasked why??When I reminded her that she phoned crying & said her in- law was taking things of her hubby's she said-- quote- I DID NOT!! It does not get better believe me!!!Phone in sick & don't go back.
I would seek advice from a lawyer & if anything comes about the lawyer can request to see the cashed checks from the bank for the last 12 months.
Good Luck to you.

Until saw the part where another caregiver was writing checks on his behalf, I didn't think you had anything to worry about. Oops--you do.
Can you talk to a member of the family and bring copies of the cancelled checks with you? A forward approach (rather than simply slinking away) is best. Likely the family is aware of their parent's situation. Tell them exactly what transpired and be honest. Hopefully, they'll understand and step in.
I would also then quit the job, nobody needs the stress of this. There's too many fingers in the pie right now.....probably this man shouldn't be writing checks or handling his own finances anymore.

Not to jump on the pile here, but I do agree that there's a serious problem here.

Client writing out his own checks and signing them to pay bills, including caregiving? Not a problem.

Client having legal paperwork in place assigning a POA and then that POA is accepted by the bank and writes out/signs checks on the client's behalf, including for caregiving? Not a problem.

Two caregivers without a legal contract in place, only a verbal agreement, with one caregiver writing out checks to the other and forging the client's name on them? HUGE problem.

I agree that dementia is an issue here, but the bigger issue is that you are not working through an agency, have no contract in place, and worst of all, one of you is forging this man's signature on his checks. In his demented state, he has every reason to be upset, because his mind no longer allows him to remember any agreement you two made with him - he only sees that someone else is writing and signing checks and in his mind, that means theft.

Look at this through the eyes of someone from the outside of the situation - it looks very bad, even if there was no ill intent and you had his best interests in mind.

Step 1: Talk to the family and explain the situation truthfully and have a representative of the family go over the bank account to prove there was no wrongdoing.

Step 2: If the family accuses you of stealing, get yourself an attorney, because you're going to need it. (Not trying to scare you here, just stating facts.)

Step 3: Leave that job and never put yourself or anyone else in this position again - ever. If you come out of this without charges being filed against you (even if they're unfounded), count your blessings and move on. Find another line of work or go through an agency. Never work without a contract in place or an agency that can look out for you.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but this is not a good situation and some harsh truths need to be faced here.

I meant to edit my post but didn't get a chance before I had to leave for a bit.

Look, there's a problem here, and you realize it. That's half the battle. Just don't let it go - do something proactive to try and fix and/or halt the damage being done. It's obvious you can't continue working for this man - if there's one thing that's true about dementia, it's that they sometimes fixate on a problem and it plays on a loop in their head - so they never forget it and harp on it for a very long time - so this is going to be a problem for him (and you, if you stay) - long after it's been resolved. Even if there was no wrongdoing involved, he thinks there is, and that's what he's going to fixate on. It's not a healthy working environment for you, and exposes you to legal trouble as well.

I can only imagine the stress you're feeling right now over this, but don't just sit and let it get worse - take action on it right away so things don't get worse.

Helper933, the gentleman probably has dementia and there is a phase where some people think others are stealing from them.

I am curious as you had mentioned that you worked for an Agency and most recently your Client is now paying you.... usually with most caregiver companies, a caregiver cannot work personally for a Client until after a set time, like 6 months to one year after leaving the Agency, depending on their rules. Otherwise your Client would have to pay a "finders fee" of a set amount. The company my Dad used the finder fee was $10k.

Is there a responsible family member (spouse, sibling, adult child) with a POA, or in charge of the person/couple yet?
If so have them write the checks.
Otherwise, document, document, document! Time sheets, corresponding to each and very check for your services, receipts if you do any reimbursed shopping for them, etc. Make copies of each check and each corresponding time sheet and create a file for your files and a copy file for the client's records.
Make sure THE CLIENT signs the checks, not the other helper.
If there are no reliable family members or legal documents drawn up, you may need to contact your county agency on aging or elder care office, since you are concerned about their abilities to manage their finances and their memory of what they have requested, and what they have paid for. .
Definitely consult an attorney , not only to protect yourself, and other workers, but to protect your client.
Not everyone is as honest as you are, and the next aide they hire could do a lot of damage with access to their check book and finances.
It is a tricky tightrope to walk because you want to protect them and their assets, but if you need to ask a family member or someone else to get involved or oversee their finances, your client will probably be very very upset with you. But having them upset with you is better than having a family member or someone else enter the picture months from now and accuse you of possibly ripping them off financially.
Kudos to you for your integrity!

I have been in the legal field for nearly 40 years. If you didn't sign those checks, you have nothing to worry about.....unless the person who actually signed those checks decides to say that you and her/him had partnered up to steal from your client....then you may have a problem. My suggestion? Call whomever is in charge of your client and have a sit down with them. Tell them the situation and then quit. Don't fool yourself into thinking that just because this situation has been resolved, another equally serious situation won't arise...because it will. First it's accusing you of writing checks next it could be accusations of stealing cash from the home or other valuables. Anything....ANYTHING that you want him and/or his family to know should be in writing with you keeping a copy for your own records. That includes your sit down with his kids or wife (or whomever is in charge). Write everything you want to say in a letter format, sign and date it and include a signature line at the bottom of your copy for them to sign or initial that so you can prove down the road that you gave it to them and they read it or you discussed it. Above all else, quit this job before you wind up in jail, having to pay bail and then having to pay an attorney to get you out of the mess. Under the table money is awesome until you have to spend it all - and then some - on legal fees. Not to mention the damage this situation and any future situations will cause to your reputation which will prevent you from obtaining gainful employment in the future.