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I have been with my loved one (non-relative) for 14 years. He has maintained his own house, job etc until 2 years ago. 5 years ago, we opened a joint checking account (joint, not a convenience account with a POA) with equal access and equal rights to it. While he has always had a card and checkbook to use the account I have paid all his bills and mine, took care of the shopping etc. While his deposits have been steady mine have varied depending on the job or whether or not I decided to deposit at all (cash tips) He also made me power of attorney (separately) 5 years ago, made me his medical power of attorney last year when he started to get sicker (old age) and made me his beneficiary when his family began trying to force me out. He has had a very limited relationship with them since before we met. Last year he had to move in with me because he was no longer able to live on his own. He was healthy and happy for several months until a fall put him in the hospital. Since then he was in and out of the hospital and a nursing home for rehab but his health as continued to deteriorate. In january of this year he became very ill with pneumonia and suddenly his family appears and filed a claim with adult protective services stating that his health was my fault and that I was stealing his money. They took me to court and the court granted them conservatorship. Now I'm facing possible criminal charges. What I don't understand is that he was not allowed to speak at the hearing. He was diagnosed with dementia but he was lucid and clear headed when he signed all of this legal documents putting me in charge of his affairs. Now he's in a home, sad, angry and demanding to be heard and I don't know how to help him without going to jail. When he became sick he was under the care of home health (I was not solely in charge of his medical care) and as for stealing his money we opened the joint account years ago. Neither one of us understands how this happened. He has no desire for his family to be involved in his affairs and now they have full control. I'm not even allowed to see him because his family had barred me from the nursing home where he is. What do I do?

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Do you have a lawyer yet, Sugarfoot?
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Now the family is trying to get the court to make me pay back ALL the money I spent out of our joint account. I don't understand how a court can tell you how to spend your own money. This whole thing wasn't about the law. It was a moral judgement. They seem to think that there's no way he (african american,68) would give me (caucasian, 38) access to his money unless he was suffering from dementia or was coerced)
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I do agree with the other replies that you should contact a lawyer or perhaps as a start to talk with the local or state elderly services agency for some guidance. I am sorry that you are going through this. It is so hard to watch and wait.
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Sue the kids for abandonment....get a lawyer to take it on payouts.
Get a warrant for incoming calls over past years........how many times did
these devils call over time? Did you accompanying him to doctors appointments?
Get those dates and times..what about church members...did people see u
at services together...does he have brothers ...get any contempories one
your side.......... stir up some trouble for thses uncaring "people,"
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The vultures always show up when they smell money. Always the ones who did the least are the first in line.
Get an attorney fast. Find anything you can establishing your 14 yr relationship.
Someone from hospital or nursing rehab should know you were the one with him.
For both of you, you need to get help (legal) fast.
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The "can't discuss the case" issue can be difficult for you as you are not the legal guardian or direct family. The nurse is correct that she can't "discuss" the case but matters regarding safety, she can listen to a concern such as a suicide threat.. You could try to talk to the social worker at the home and tell her about his his threat to hurt himself. The social worker will not be able to offer you any information but can listen to you, What happens next will not be something you will be able to know from staff people at the home.
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This morning he called me threatening to hurt himself. He said his family wouldn't get a dime if it was self inflicted. I tried to call the charge nurse but she said she couldn't discuss his case with me and hung up. God help us.
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I don't know what you do, except get a better lawyer and fight this injustice!

But I want to extend my heartfelt sympathy to you, and to your loved one. What a horror story.
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