I agree w/ all the comments that suggest you be concerned about your Dad's safety. I speak from experience. My ex-husband (not all that elderly yet, and supposedly in his right mind, but an alcoholic) began acquiring "lady friends" from Craig's list. These girls were 20 or more years younger than him, and came bearing gifts....huge quantities of Vodka, and their bodies. Once they had him sufficiently stupid w/ booze, they robbed him blind. One, in particular, somehow convinced him she LOVED him, and he almost MARRIED her!! She took his bank cards, had him buy her cars, (which she wrecked repeatedly), furniture, pay rent for a nice condo, etc etc. All of this he did for intimacy, and sex, and the promise of undying love. It was very very sad to see happen, and many friends and family members tried to bring him to his senses, to no avail. In the end, he was badly beaten, and robbed by his "lover's" boyfriend. They took him for everything he had. This is a sad, but true story. Maybe you could show this to your Dad. There are horrible vultures out there, who will do just about anything....and more....for a buck. And sadly, there are lonely needy victims who are prey for those vultures. Good luck in helping your Dad be a bit more careful in who he allows in his home and in his life!!
My father has recently begun again to masturbate in front of his computer which is in our TV room. He has lost much of his sight and hearing (87 yrs) but is reasonably sharp. My husband caught him today as well as about a year ago. Dad gave my husband his word he would not do this again...TV room. He has his own bedroom, duh. Again, there is no dementia. Now my husband is demanding he leave. We do have children. He has some $$, enough for a few yrs assisted living but had made me promise no nursing home. Need some advice.
Let me die a youngman's death not a clean and inbetween the sheets holywater death not a famous-last-words peaceful out of breath death
When I'm 73 and in constant good tumour may I be mown down at dawn by a bright red sports car on my way home from an allnight party
Or when I'm 91 with silver hair and sitting in a barber's chair may rival gangsters with hamfisted tommyguns burst in and give me a short back and insides
Or when I'm 104 and banned from the Cavern may my mistress catching me in bed with her daughter and fearing for her son cut me up into little pieces and throw away every piece but one
Let me die a youngman's death not a free from sin tiptoe in candle wax and waning death not a curtains drawn by angels borne 'what a nice way to go' death
Lambchp2, does Dad need a computer in his room? Also, was he full-out masturbating, or just casually touching himself absentmindedly?
It is kind of gross, for sure, and I'm not sure what I would do. I might just say, "Dad, cut that out. Do you want little Susie to get a look at you?" Or as my daughter says every time husband and I stage a giant smooch in the kitchen, "Get a room!"
It is gross, but exactly why does your husband want to kick him out? Is he afraid Dad will touch the kids? I wouldn't be. Most kids have seen another kid do the fondling, at least, and kids don't need to see it to figure out how to do it, and that it feels good.
This is the same problem the elderly have in nursing homes. I guess the women do it more discretely if they still want to but for the men they are more open about it or less inhibited. The standard advice is to discretely close the door and come back later and knock loudly and wait to be invited in. In this case is Dad watching something erotic on the computer. Give him one in his room and request he keeps these activities behind closed doors. not a reason to kick the poor old guy out unless he has done other things.
Get written medical info access permission. Having sex at a massage parlor is illegal. Have him arrested and don't bail him out. While he's in jail, throw those women out of his house and locate and discard his sex drugs. Tell his doctors the situation. Have them recommend therapy and take him to it.
Does no one realize the "Oriental Massage Parlors" which perform sex services are often staffed by victims of human trafficking and sex slavery? I don't care about sex lives, I do care about women who were brought to this country under false pretenses to sexually serve gross old men and who have no choice in the matter. Please read about this severe worldwide problem at redthreadmovement dot org and other anti- sex trafficking sites.
Let Me Die A Youngman's Death
Let me die a youngman's death
not a clean and inbetween
the sheets holywater death
not a famous-last-words
peaceful out of breath death
When I'm 73
and in constant good tumour
may I be mown down at dawn
by a bright red sports car
on my way home
from an allnight party
Or when I'm 91
with silver hair
and sitting in a barber's chair
may rival gangsters
with hamfisted tommyguns burst in
and give me a short back and insides
Or when I'm 104
and banned from the Cavern
may my mistress
catching me in bed with her daughter
and fearing for her son
cut me up into little pieces
and throw away every piece but one
Let me die a youngman's death
not a free from sin tiptoe in
candle wax and waning death
not a curtains drawn by angels borne
'what a nice way to go' death
Roger McGough
It is kind of gross, for sure, and I'm not sure what I would do. I might just say, "Dad, cut that out. Do you want little Susie to get a look at you?" Or as my daughter says every time husband and I stage a giant smooch in the kitchen, "Get a room!"
It is gross, but exactly why does your husband want to kick him out? Is he afraid Dad will touch the kids? I wouldn't be. Most kids have seen another kid do the fondling, at least, and kids don't need to see it to figure out how to do it, and that it feels good.