What can I do if my elderly father is addicted to sex?

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He spends hundreds of dollars at an oriental massage parlor and moved 3 women in his house. What can we do?

Answers 1 to 10 of 38
LACY:

If you're equating sex with the amount of orgasms he might be having as a result of Viagra, Cialis, or some other "male enhancement," I'd worry about his ticker. Sexually active people, however, tend to be healthier; and healthier people tend to be sexually active. It could be that the fulfillment of sex gives you a health boost, or that being more fit makes sex better — or, more likely, it's a little of both. In your father's case I believe these women make him feel younger and that he's also craving intimacy, not just sex. Also, there's the possibility he assumes that since his life is winding down he might as well catch up on all the sex and intimacy he never got around to for one reason or another. I might be chastized for this, but I can't think of a better way for an older man to leave this world than with a big smile on his face after a woman -- preferably the love of his life -- has rocked his world. ... You know what I mean.

What's actually bothering you is that he's frittering all that money away and that these vixens are taking him for a ride after they've sucked him dry. (I should rephrase, shouldn't I?) He knows they'll be gone after there's nothing else for him to give and that his behavior seems reckless, immoral, or hormonal. And right now he's behaving like an addict. He's aware of all that, but it doesn't seem to matter as long as his carnal and/or emotional needs are satisfied.

You can't save people from themselves, but you can surely give them a piece of your mind. So go ahead. Indulge yourself. After all is said and done, at least you did the best you could for him to see the light. Whatever light that happens to be.

Wish you the best, and am looking forward to your postings.

-- ED



Lacy I'm with Ed and I can't wait to see what others post.
Is this a Moral issue,a health issue, or a money issue.
Top Answer
He's an adult and can do whatever he wants. It's also his money and he can spend it. BUT if he spends/loses all his money, winds up broke and you ultimately have to provide for him, then you have a right to be concerned. Too many elders never planned for their golden years or they expected someone else to provide for them, like their kids for instance. Your dad can have his fun but will YOU be the one paying for it down the line? And who are these women? Friends, professionals, strangers? Is your dad's safety a concern with them in his home? Maybe it's because I live in a big city and you have to be careful of people taking advantage of or hurting/killing others over money,sex or even $5. I'd investigate to be sure your dad is safe, his money situation is ok and that he's just having fun. I always say if you smell a rat it's because there is one nearby.
ALWAYS:

What color do you want your star to be? Thank you so much. That was wonderful.
Ed, I'll take a red one. I'm in one of those firey moods today!
you could also sit down and have a talk with your father , tellin him that ure worried about him pickin up some disease and those women could take advantage of him .
he could be broke just in a matter of time . a heart to heart talk is very important .
maybe he doesnt care cuz he just one wild man love all women ? i have no idea but sit down and talk to him and go from there .
Lacy,

I would be far more concerned with the women who are living in his house. They would be far more likely to both rip him off as well as possibly be unhealthy.

I don't have any problems with him going to oriental massage parlors. Those younger women will treat him with oriental respect and make him feel like a king as well as much younger. As long as all he is getting is a shower, massage and a happy ending, then he's just acting like a college age person all over again. Even King David was brought a young girl to help keep him warm in his old age before he died.

If he is extremely healthy and his testosterone is still strong which it sounds like it is then he might not be on any enhancers although at his age it will take him longer to get errect some dudes still can at that age.
AMD made the comment, "Too many elders never planned for their golden years or they expected someone else to provide for them, like their kids for instance."

Well, if you really think about it, with people living longer and longer once they reach a largely non-functional, highly dependent state, and nursing home and in-home assistance costs climbing through the roof with no end in sight, then noone other than the rich truly PLANNED for their golden years.

We all have the Medicaid NH option, but have you looked at a chart of national debt by country? Staggering. The US government cannot afford to pay $60 - 70 thousand per year for a semi-private room for every indigent senior. If the gov had to follow pay-as-you-go guidelines, these seniors would have to be in a ward with about 30 others. Or worse.

What we are doing now is just wildly extravagant ostrich-head-in-the-sand borrowing against our future. With absolutely no hope of repayment.

Bottom line - unless this 78 year old man has got a major pile of cash reserved for his 90's and 100's, or a solid promise that his offspring will take full responsibility, then, should he reach that age, his Orient Express activities will end up being indirectly paid for by taxpayers.
Lacy, I think every answer is correct that has responded so far. First of all, GROSS thinking about your dad having sex/masturbating whatever, with strange women. It's bad enough thinking about our PARENTS being intimate, then add this... Okay, now that I got that picture out of my head, you have a right to be concerned. Him being ripped off, his health (heart, STD's) & not having enough money for the future etc. You do need to sit him down like you would a teenage boy and talk about this with him. If it were me, I would have my husband or brother talk to him, but it needs to done. There are reasons people call it 'risky behavior' talk to him about the risks. Good luck.

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