My elderly father of 84 years old has wet his bed 3 times within the last week. He does not like using his zimmerframe, and as such has fallen over multiple times. He will not bother making his own cups of tea or getting drinks, despite previously claiming he can look after himself. We have suggested to the GP that he is physically unable to look after himself in the past, but they have advised us he is capable.
Today he has openly admitted to myself and my sister that he is too lazy to go to the toilet. It is hard not to feel like he is taking our lives, and our personal well-being, for granted. We both have professional lives that we wish to improve, and we intend to move out at some point. My mother is separated from him, but she would be the only carer left for him, and it would be immensely unfair on her to expect her to deal with him. We cannot allow this behavior to continue, but we have no idea how to enforce standards upon him.
Myself, my mum, and my sister take care of him in our house. He does not bother moving out of his bed nowadays. It seems clear that he has given up on caring for himself. Has anyone been in a similar situation to us? Could anyone offer advice? I am genuinely considering investigating care homes as a final solution, as he has allowed his own well-being to deteriorate despite our help, and it is negatively affecting our personal and professional lives.
Surely, there must be laws to protect the well being of carers? How far is far enough in dealing with his self-proclaimed laziness? Would the law provide any solutions to this?
I apologize if this post sounds selfish. It is very hard to find pity for him when he has admitted to deliberately letting himself go. If anyone has advice, solutions, perspectives, anything to help - please let me know.