She was active for a 91 year old...volunteering 3 days per week at a hospital on the coffee cart and still driving and living independently. It all changed with a discovery of lung cancer. She came to live with us for radiation treatment. She tolerated it extremely well and was just told it is in remission! Naturally, she is finally showing the signs of her age, even put on continuous oxygen at level 5. Mostly she is weaker, and isn't very steady shaky in the hands etc. I'm happy to take care of her, cooking, cleaning up after her etc. No problems at all...I enjoy all of that kind of thing-honestly. What is difficult is, she try's to jump up and "help" which ends up being possibly harmful to herself and extra work for myself and husband. It is more out of...you do "too much", not cause she misses cooking cleaning etc. She even comments about "why don't I just get it at the store"..."why do I have to make it or cook it etc." We use only healthiest ingredients and prefer homemade...and I enjoy doing it. Finally, to my question, she hides her used poise pads .... I know she wears them...I buy them. She knows I know this, and everyone else in the family knows she uses them....she didn't hide them in the beginning but has been the past couple of months...I am open and careful not to offend....and ask why? Also, I ask that she please just use her one of two waste baskets rather than her clothing pockets or inside clean clothing in drawers etc. This type of conversation has gone on several times...even my husband (her son has asked her to leave them in the waste basket.) Which by the way we empty each day?