What is it with women in their 80's & 90's who will keep food in the refrigerator till it's unrecognizable?

I'm only 66, but I'm a little like that. I would never expect to get sick from baked goods that didn't have mold on them, especially something that will be baked before eating.

I think it's partly a personality trait. I'm kind of a hoarder, and I hate to waste things. I have to get my daughter to throw stuff out, because it sort of hurts.

These women did grow up in the early days of refrigeration. They remember when lots of foods were stored in the cupboard, not the fridge. Mustard, peanut butter, bread. They were probably raised in homes where any food that came into the house disappeared pretty quickly down someone's throat, because they had less food available. They are less likely to be germ-phobic.

Then there's this method of deciding if a left-over has spoiled. Leave it in the refrigerator for two weeks, and then you'll be able to tell if you should throw it out! Ya gotta laugh. Good luck.

I'm only 66 also and, gee, do I hate to throw out good food, but am getting better at it. That's just how I was raised, you don't throw out good food. I was playing cards at a friend's house years ago in Denver and at the end of the night, my friend started to throw away all this very good cut up cheese. OMG, I was shocked. I knew her well enough to say: what are you doing? She said we don't eat leftovers. I'm stunned. I said, well, I do and took it home. I guess I looked like a cheapo. But she got the cheese only for the party and just cut it up that evening, so...!

But you also have to remember that older people in that age bracket lived during the depression and didn't throw anything away and used it two or three times if they could. My 92 year old Mother, if she uses a paper towel to wipe up water, will let it dry to re-use it, sometimes more than once. When she had cookouts or something, it drove me nuts that she'd wash the plastic utensils to use another time. They are much more frugal than we are today. While it hurts me a bit, I know it is best, but lately I've been throwing away tons of food at Mother's because she just isn't eating. Oh, if she had her right mind, she'd be mortified at the amount of food she has been wasting. I go over and will find 4 or 5 dirty paper towels folded that she's intending to use again. I just toss them.

If our economy got much worse than it is, that older generation would survive much better than today's younger generation. They've been through it before.

according to the fda ( best when used by ) dates are malarky and should be ignored. every type of food has the uncanny ability to stink to high heaven when its spoiled. the fda's advice is, if it smells good dont worry about it. in the case of beef, its considerably better tasting if you split the packaging and leave it on the counter all night or day to brown and age a bit. aging amounts to decomposition and it makes beef and venison delicious and tender.

Rebecca, your mom and my mom must be sisters separated at birth, LOL. My mom reuses napkins over and over and washes out plastic food storage bags and gives them back to me to reuse. I've picked up a bit of that from her, but I'll get rid of stuff before it goes bad. My father used to grab a fistful of napkins whenever we ate out, but then he'd use the same ones over and over again. I'm sure it's from their Depression-era upbringing.

My mom also "saves" her good nightgown for the time she might go to the hospital. I keep saying, "Mom, you're almost 94. You've been to the hospital many times. When did you ever use that gown? Start wearing it at home!!" She also saves her good address labels and uses the free ones they send her in the mail. I tell her when she goes, I'll have 5,000 very nice address labels of hers I can't use. You just have to laugh about it.

Two years ago my nieces cleaned out my MIL's refrigerator at Christmas and threw out the outdated food. When my MIL fell the following April and went to the NH my daughter and I cleaned out her refrigerator and threw out outdated food. I asked my niece about the really old food we'd found since they'd cleaned out the refrig several months earlier. She clearly recalled throwing out the Smuckers pancake syrup I mentioned (outdated in 2000). My nieces' visit ended the day before garbage day. Seems my MIL retrieved the items from her garbage before the garbage went out to the curb. The napkins and nightgowns mentioned in earlier posts are familiar to me also with my MIL. She's saved things "for good" so many times that I want to ask "When is good?"

I am 62 and am pretty much the same way. No my food doesn't get spoiled, but I do not mind eating leftovers, or purchasing food at a discounted price that has been a bit past expiration date. I sometimes cook large amounts and store the balance in the freezer; then for a while I don't have to cook at all.

It irritates me quite a bit watching my older brother throwing away good food for the reason of not having enough room in the fridge. God knows there's plenty of room, but he does just that, and then he goes on complaining of the high prices. I keep my mouth shut as this is his house. But this isn't happening at my place, oh no.

Everything to his own, I guess.

It's the "sniffing" that bugs the crap out of me, then she'll ask me to smell it, "does this smell alright to you"? Ugh.. Get that old food out of my face!

I tell her it might give her "the runs", so she'll throw it out!!

But then again she's still alive at 91.....

Excellent conversation! Thanks for making me laugh....the "sniffing" and saving the "good stuff" Just cleaned out 2 kitchen drawers in my mom's house...she had 12 paring knives, 3 can openers, 10 or so steak knives, 3 candy thermometers, goes on and on. She let me put some of it in the basement for "when she will need it", so the next time I go to visit, I'll take it out of the basement and give it to Goodwill. I'll start on the fridge again next visit...probably 5 bottles of barbeque sauce in there!

sigh
i have a female friend who wastes more food than i could ever eat. she always profoundly states that " joey wont eat leftovers " . bullshit. joey would eat backhand if he were my spawn..

Let me know when you figure this one out. My grandmother (85) does this, along with 3-4 huge tubs of margarine on the go at any given time. I have no idea why she is so concerned with running out of margarine. And why the giant jars of everything, that'll take a couple years to get through?

I've got one that tops it all: a jar of oregano from 1961. Granted, herbs & spices do have a longer shelf life, but not that long!!!

If they are 80 and 90 they were very young during the Great Depression (1929-1938). We cannot fathom the starvation, homelessness and death that they witnessed. They will never throw food away. Mom will cook pasta with bugs in it, just skim them off as they float up, because that was what it took to survive then. Nana had a compost heap and mulched kitchen scraps into a vegetable garden. They will never forget the hard times, never waste and hide the food if they think you will toss it.

I don't believe in wasting anything, either, but yeah, if something is just plain moldy or smells really rotten, it's got to go... But otherwise, no. I shop for good sales, especially meats, I most certainly do eat leftovers...any body that knows their way around a kitchen knows that some recipes taste BETTER the next day, and the next day.. soups, stews, chowders come to mind...

Spoony, yup, I'm the same way... Captain, oh yeah, I don't slap a steak on the grill unless it's room temperature and has been sitting out awhile... Assandache, that post made me lol...and I bet that works, too...

I used to work as a server at Golden Corral. Omg, the waste... You would not, can not, believe waste on that kind of scale. After awhile I became kind of numb to it, but still... it never failed to boggle my mind... People that piled their plates to overflowing with food...then pushed the plate aside, barely even touched, only to go get another... I mean...what? And these were grown adults! I was trashing whole chicken legs and breasts, piles of vegetables and salads, mounds of mac and cheese, rolls with a single bite out of it... And most of the leftover stuff at the end of the night went into the garbage. I asked my manager if we couldn't box up the food in clean containers, bag it up in several layers of bags, and leave it close to the dumpsters at night, for anyone homeless that might appreciate that untouched food not going in the garbage...he said no, it was against the law... Lawd! What a world... If it's not bad, we eat it around here, period.

When I was kid, we used to have Friday stew. Any leftovers from the week went into a pot, were seasoned with a hefty dollup of burgundy and served. A perfect solution to old food. Very seldom did we have anyone complaining about it. I think it was the burgundy lol.

I tend to try to eat our leftovers within 3 days. If we haven't eaten it by then, we're probably sick of it. I have been known, however, with a large roast, to freeze part of the leftovers for later.

I don't like decomposing meat Captain. I like mine nice and red. When it starts turning brown or gets that little bit of a smell to it, it's just nasty to me. One step above maggots. Sorry. I won't eat fuzzy food, either, unless it's peaches. My MIL insists both are fine, along with sour milk. Blech!

No ambulance was needed for the cinammon rolls. But both of them took really long naps LOL.

E, sometimes I do that now. lol I've come up with some pretty interesting soups and stews that way...they were good, too. lol I sent you a link on your wall, vintage recipes...I might have to try some of them myself they sound so good... :)

I am guilty of cutting the mold off cheese and buy most of my meat with one day to go on the use by date. I grew up during WW11 and rationing in the UK meant that nothing was wasted. We didn't have a fridge so I think we were just immune to the usual bugs and rarely got sick, well not from food poisoning but suffered all the childhood illnesses. Anything wild caught was always "hung" to tenderize - no marinades in those days!

I got a 75 yr old dad that does the same thing... "mindset of scarcity?" I say, You Betcha! He saves Everything, and he and I have this "Groundhog Day" discussion all the time about how he needs to eat up his fresh food in the fridge, or it will go bad... and how he can't buy family packs of bologna in bulk, and expect it won't go bad... Now, I just do the shopping... and the covert cleaning out of the fridge when he isn't aware... He says he can "tell if something is bad," I say "why chance it?" But yeah... doesn't throw anything away, even if its growing green funk and looking like a science project gone awry.

When I first moved in, my parents had hoards of food dating back to 1990 -- maybe before. At first she fought me tooth and claw about throwing the old stuff out. But I persisted. Now I throw out questionable stuff without consulting first. My field is biology and I know about all the little beasties that can grow in food. I also know that, even if it doesn't spoil, food kept in the freezer 100 years doesn't taste good.

The funniest thing I ran across was a sweet potato pie from 1990. I told my mother I was tossing it. She said no, no, it's still good. Well, personally I don't eat sweet potato pie. Nor did my father. So I asked my mother if she was going to eat it. No. I asked her if Dad was going to eat it. No. I said I wasn't, either. And into the trash it went.

I don't think it is a depression era thing. I really think it is an "out of sight, out of mind" and "too lazy to clean the freezer and refrigerator" thing. There was so much old food in the refrigerator, freezer, and cabinets, there wasn't enough room for good food.

Jessie - My field isn't biology, but I've heard about all those beasties that can grow on food, and they scare the heck out of me!! Like you, I also think that old food just doesn't taste as good. It tends to get that old refrigerator/freezer taste, even if it won't technically kill you.

When we moved into this house 2 years ago we cleaned out my mom's refrigerator at her condo. We found things in there that had expiration dates from 2004 (7 years out of date). Same thing with her canned goods and spices.

My MIL is even worse. I dread the day we have to go up and clean out her house. She has been saving cool whip containers for years. She intends to sell them some year when she has a garage sale for 10 cents each. She's been going to have this garage sale for 15 years now - when she gets organized. She's 90 now. Her refrigerator is so full with stuff that you can't ever find anything. She actually has 2 refrigerators that you can't find anything in. I fully expect her to get a third and start filling it up.

Sounds like you need to do the snipe attacks with your MIL, equillot. Those are the kind where food just disappears. If it is ever missed, all you have to say is that it is probably in there somewhere, just hidden among all the other things. Of course, you have to make sure it is in some garbage that they can't find. Even one time caught, we would be busted.

Re the cinnamon rolls, the few times I've made store-bought ones, the roll apart cans always sort of explode when you open them. It's a function of compression and raising (i.e. yeast) agents. Personally I'd be a lot more worried if it didn't explode open (i.e. about dead yeast).

As a seasoned cook and baker, I would agree with others who say that the dates on containers frequently only indicate when the best flavor/texture of items will end. The most important thing to bear in mind is that anything manufactured (i.e. canned/preserved)--like salsa!--has tons of preservatives in it, and as long as it's properly refrigerated or frozen after opening it will likely keep for ages (unless there is cross-contamination with, say a fresh food). Fresh, non-preservative-packed foods spoil more easily, but in these cases the spoilage is generally quite evident (i.e. sour milk, moldy bread).

This whole scenario sounds a bit like me--today I discovered a month old Dunkin' Donuts iced tea, some radishes so old they were black, and some petrified cheese in my fridge! All went to the garbage immediately. And bear in mind that some people are more "waste not, want not" than others. Some families don't eat leftovers, as another commenter said, some--like me--can't tolerate throwing something useful out, even to the point of forgetting it! Just bear in mind that standards of usefulness vary among people--most young 'un nowadays wouldn't know what to do with sour milk. I, as a baker, know it has many excellent uses!

I have noticed that some posters are concerned about their older parents / grandparents still keeping a number of old things either in the refrigerator or the basement etc., so they proceed throwing those away. IMO you have to consider the fact that these older people have lived through the depression years, and now do whatever makes them feel safe & secure. Either out of habit or else in case this happens again. Which I wouldn't be surprised considering the state of economy nowadays, but I digress.

I am a little confused here. Are you trying to help your loved ones, or else do you want to change them and their habits to your liking? A few extra can openers stored in the basement definitely don't present any danger, that's what I am thinking. Of course it wouldn't make any difference either way. But the way I see it, you are trying to change your loved ones' habits to your standards.

I hope that I won't grow that old, so that someone else makes decisions for me. Just saying.

Spoony, while I understand what you're saying, the way I look at it is once my mom gave up taking care of anything and I assumed that responsibility (because she wasn't doing it), I also assumed the right to keep things in good shape. I was noticing little bugs around my mom's medicine holders, so starting looking in the drawer where they were stored. She had left opened packet of crackers in there that were TEEMING with creepy crawly bugs. Bugs by the hundreds. UGH, UGH, UGH! They were in her cabinets too, where she'd left opened cookies and crackers, because she doesn't want to throw anything away. It was ME who had to clean them out and keep them away. My mom doesn't even remember that happening, which is not like her. And it will be me that has to clean out mom's place once she passes away.

In my world, if you can maintain it (basement, garage, pantry, whatever) then you have the right to say what goes/stays. Once you turn that responsibility over to someone else, they get to choose. Ultimately I'm doing the best I can to keep my mom healthy and happy. It that means I throw out stuff she would save, so be it.

OK, I vote with the Depression-era hoarders here. I'd sniff that oregano and if it smelled OK, into a sauce it would go. I am the Leftover Queen; if I'd been there at the miraculous feeding of the five thousand, there would have been fishcakes for MY family for sure (Hey Jesus - can we have one of those baskets full of leftover bread and fish to take home if it's too much for You and the twelve to eat up?). We'll need a takeout box, please, or necessitamos una caja por favor at the Mexican place, every time, as long as the food was any good.

But seriously - no mold or bacteria can be allowed to grow, it goes bad, it goes out. In the garbage can and not even the kitchen trash. Now a few bad spots or items doesn't mean throwing out the batch, though; even if I have to put on a mask (allergic to mold), I will pick it over and salvage the good part. Meat smells bad, trash can gets it unless just a little iffy then the dogs get it. Milk is bad when it smells or tastes bad, and you don't need any for baking. Those cinnamon rolls were probably fine too...yeasts make carbon dioxide, its their job! Expiration dates are just suggestions :-). Sell by dates on the other hand I tend to respect. Stores want you to buy more, but to be happy with what you get. Now, believe it or not, I have gotten food poisoning from restaurants, but never ever from my own kitchen.

I have NO idea how I got this way. Other than being hungry so much of the time due to my genetically high appetite plus getting migraines if I miss a meal. My mom would YELL at me to "throw it out" - food that was perfectly good, cards and letters, things used once that are multi-use - and I'd pretend to, but usually manage to save it. She always prided herself on NOT having to be thrifty, sort of the anti-Depression. I guess I got it in my head to always be prepared, to never be without; I guess I have that phobia of being without, which is not without some realistic basis (ask me about my toilet paper system :-). And deep down I believe that if, and perhaps only if, we are not wasteful, we are promised we will always have enough. The only thing that keeps me from being a real full-fledged hoarder is giving stuff away, which I can do easily as long as there is a good cause in town. And I compulsively recycle. And I'm 55.

PS to Blannie: Yuck. No bugs allowed in my pantry either. That's what re-using bread bags and newpaper bags is for.

Spoony - I live with my Mom, and do the cooking. She and I go round and round over when to throw things away. Since I am now in charge of the kitchen, I figure it should be whatever I am comfortable with, but we share the grocery bill, and her Scottish blood keeps her from anything out. With my MIL, it's her house, her rules. I can't do anything about it except make a comment now and again when we go to visit about 3 yr old mayonaise or the like.

I appreciate your opinion, Spoony; and it has bothered me a little that I'm taking things from my mom's house without her permission. I do have my dad's permission, however. In my situation, the issue is not just extra can openers, it is my mom getting upset and crying when she can't find anything because she has so much junk in her kitchen drawers and she doesn't remember where she puts things.

It's also a matter of overall safety. Her house is very clean but it is so cluttered that I'm sometimes afraid that something in the basement could catch on fire because of having so much stuff around the furnace and boxes packed up to the ceiling. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I am much of a hoarder with the mindset that if I throw something out I will need it the next day. So often this comes true. so I am in the process of going through the house and separating the things that I can get rid of in the event of downsizing. If downsizing comes to fruition it will be because I can no longer manage certain tasks therefor I don't need that lawnmower or whatever and it can be rehomed. I am concerned steven's mom as you are about the stuff stored in your mom.s basement because it does indeed pose a fire hazard. My eldest daughter says if we move 90% of our stuff should be thrown out. Over my dead body honey.

Folks, the thing about mold and bacteria is that they can be present but not VISIBLE.

My Mil use to shop in costco in bulk for her and her husband. when we moved in to take care of her after he died, I tried to clean out the freezer and caught H-ll. she actually moved a lot of that food from their last home and it was years old then. then a hurricane struck and we lost electric for 4 days-gosh just had to throw everything out. I had to clean out my mom's huse whenwe moved her to AL, I had 30+ large garbage bags of trash-every piece of paper, plastic wrap margarine tubs etc. Garbage men came 3 times because their truck of full(another house was cleaning out down the street!) now my mom saves what she has not eaten at her meals in AL for my chickens-most of that I throw out and I always have to check her fridge for leftovers. I take it and she thinks it is going to the hens. she still wants to take all the leftovers when we go out to lunch. when I drop her off i never give them to her and she has already forgotten she had them. As for sour milk, when they grew up it was real milk and went sour-pasturized, homogenized milk goes bad not sour. I use raw milk and there is a difference.

An old adage comes to mind: "IF IN DOUBT, THROW IT OUT!". When my Mom went into the NH, I had to clean out her apt (emotionally wrenching experience). I found dry goods and canned/bottled items that were years past their 'sell by/use by/best by' dates. Towards the end of her independent living days, Mom would take things out of the freezer to defrost, then decide that she wasn't ready to cook the item, and put them back in the freezer. I would tell her "Mom those chicken breasts have been defrosting for three days. If you don't cook them tonight, you will have to throw them out because they will be spoiled by tomorrow". Her reply: "Oh No! I just took them out of the freezer this morning - they're fine! The next day, I would find them back in the freezer, uncooked. I really had to keep an eagle eye on what came and went from the freezer. Same thing with cold cuts sitting in fridge more than 10 days. Even if I showed her the date sold label on the package, she wouldn't believe me. It got to the point where I had to weed out the old stuff when she was alseep, because she had a conniption fit if I started rummaging around in her kitchen. All the old/questionable stuff when right down the garbage shute before she woke up. If she couldn't see it, she didn't miss it - that's the dementia.