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After years of not hearing, and my nagging her to get her hearing tested, my mother said she was not going to any other family gatherings because no one talked to her. I told her that she wouldn't be able to take part in conversations unless she got hearing aids. When tested, her hearing was really bad. Since then, she has admitted that she hears better now. In her case, a comment she once made about a cousin having two hearing aids kind of revealed that she equated hearing aids with being old, which she refuses to be. Her own claim was that she was afraid the aids would be uncomfortable.
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V- my mother (91) has had hearing loss for several years but blames it on wax in her ear that the STUPID doctor NEVER gets out when she goes to him for that!! (The doctor also makes her take worthless medication, submit to blood work she doesn't need and for some odd reason keeps referring to the congestive heart failure that she doesn't have!).

Like you, I have to say everything two or three times. I have tried speaking louder but that just doesn't seem to do the trick. And my mother doesn't say "Pardon me". She screws up her face, opens her mouth, sticks out her tongue and brays out "HAH?" every single time.

HOWEVER, she can hear my husband just fine. He has a deeper voice, I have a higher voice. I guess her tweeter speaker is broken and she can only hear the woofer part. Sometimes it annoys the crap out of me. For instance, every day at around the same time, I open her bedroom door and and announce "Dinner's ready". I get the screwed up face and the big donkey-like "HAH?". If I say it again she does the same thing. I can't understand how she doesn't know what I'm saying if I say it the same time every frikkin day!! Now I open the door and hold up a sign that says DINNER'S READY.

I don't know what will work for you. Maybe carry a pad with you and when she says Pardon Me, write it down for her. She may get tired of reading your notes and put in her hearing aid. Or pretend you can't hear her saying Pardon Me and just smile and drift into another conversation. She has to want to wear those hearing aids because obviously you can't make the decision for her. If she can't hear and you don't accomodate her by repeating everything, she may make the decision herself.

Good luck. I said GOOD LUCK!!
Dory
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I had a similar problem with my Step Dad. With him, he watched TV from about 6AM until 9PM. Every single morning - probably about six times each morning he woke me up and every single time he said he was sorry. He refused to get a hearing aid because that would signify his 'being old'.

Finally, I was able to get him to try TV Ears (a great product). Still, that didn't work except when I was awake and he knew I'd say something about his lowering the Ears volume. (He'd wear the Ears, but still use the common volume control.) The only thing that finally worked was my disconnecting the cable TV at the 'out of house' location when I went to bed at night. All he knew was the TV didn't work until I got up. I didn't tell him what I did, but I did tell him if he used the TV Ears volume I'd make sure the TV was available, but if he continued to treat Mom and I with such disrespect the TV would be off forever. Not because of his concern for me or Mom with respect to awakening us, but because he wanted the TV on did he finally comply. (After the typical 'testing' period.)

Perhaps a 'comply and reward' situation would work for you. Perhaps you could get a timer and keep it where you generally converse. Politely explain that you simply become too distraught emotionally at knowing she is missing out on so much wonderful conversation because of her need to have things repeated all the time... and surely you would be less distraught emotionally, as well. From then on you will be happy to repeat your words, but only after two minutes have gone bye. Every time she asks you to repeat - turn on the timer. BE CONSISTENT.

I clearly understand that might well sound - and surely could be properly considered a very hard core approach. But, when someone refuses to be polite on their own, sometimes they need a little schooling to re-learn kindness. (Remember - in some ways you are training a person with a mind that in some respects is that of a child.) Who knows but with such a hard core approach - or something similar - you will have encouraged the wearing of a hearing aid as a wonderful tool for her enjoyment in life... and your peace of mind will have once again become the routine.

Good luck...

V
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I think the reason that most people don't wear hear aids, use a walker orask for assistance is PRIDE. Tell mom that if it is indeed pride that's keeping her from using her hear aids, that you're going to let her keep her pride but no longer are you going to repeat yourself. She has her pride that she thinks is so wonderful, and you get to keep your sanity. I'll bet she sets aside the pride and puts that stupid hear aid in when she sees that's she's missing out on what's going on. What will it hurt to try it? Nothing else has worked so far right? Good luck.
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I try to make a point of talking louder, but it doesn't really help. I think she says "huh?" just out of habit now. I gave up trying to get her to wear the hearing aids because it was just another fight, and at this point I have to choose my battles. She doesn't want to wear her teeth lately either. Part of it may be that she doesn't want me telling her what to do. Part denial. Either way, I feel your frustration. I'll keep watching this thread...hopefully someone will have some suggestions- I'm open!!
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lily04 - thanks so much for responding. I didn't think anyone was going to!

So, what is it with older people and (NOT) wearing hearing aids? I wonder if it's a dementia thing or if it's an age thing.

Do you or anyone else have any strategies for trying to cope with this?
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I'm having the same problem. My mom says "Huh?" before I even finish each sentence. To make matters worse, she has alzheimer's and doesn't remember what was even said 5 minutes later. So we end up having the same interaction probably 10 times a day. By the time my husband gets home from work, I'm ready to scream! If she would wear the hearing aids, at least I would only have to repeat things half the time!
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