How do you feed an elder who has lost their appetite after a surgery?

Well I do not have anybody that will help me, its just me and my familys holiday is not going to be nice this year, there is so much going on that my marriage is falling apart because of my mother living with us and everything that is going on, I had a break down last night and it was so bad that I left the house at night drove around trying to think of how my life came to be like this and why the rest of my family is so bad, ugly and nasty not even wanting to help me. Someday this might happen to them and they will have nobody to help them, Here in New Jersey I was told that I cant get paid for being my mother caregiver 24 house a day 7 days aweek, they want some stranger to come in 3 times a week pay him or her but what about me. Are taxes have gone up because we added on for my mother, all are bills have doubled and my husband is the only one that works. So as you can see i have so much on my plate its so hard and some times i want to just walk away.There is so much that has happed in my life im only 42 and i feel like im 82, I have Asthma, I have 3 slipped dics in my back and went from 132lbs to 216 because of stress and asthma Meds. I dont like the way i look anymore and i feel like my husband should find somebody that looks and feels like a 42 should. its so hard , I cry almost every night because My life is gone !!!!!

Any update? My goodness, you've been through it! I hope that you've gotten some relief and some time for yourself to just enjoy the Holiday Season. Would love to hear what's up.
Ruth

My mother had a hemorrhage in 1979 and came home after 6 months of rehab, then after that she has been in and out of the hospital over the years for everything and anything, she started to get the hype of making things up after awhile just so people would take care of her, my father got COPD in his later forties and then passed 9 years ago from COPD, My mother has put all of us threw the ringer from the time i was 11 i cant remember a day without hearing that my back hurts or my foot hurts or on and on and on, She was once taking up to 18 pills a day with pain killers and over dosed one time on that stuff call oxycontin , I have been there for her and when she was loosing her house I took my husbands credit card and paid 4 mtg payments so she would not be forclosed on so soon, and she didnt even thank me, my sister does not give a crap at all and my brother does not help at all also, My sister did and say alot of nasty things the last time she was at my house so I have a ppo on her and she can never come over here. And my mother thinks that it does not matter that she told me that if she saw me she would blow my head off, and that I am wrong for not letting her come hear. she forgets that my sister told her to rott in hell and that she should have died first not my dad. I guess i just like to be told over and over that im wrong and that everybody els is right, but i dont see anybody els helping her or me with anything. There is some under lieing mental thing going on with her and I just hope her doctor can deal with it before I put her in a place because i cant deal with it anymore.

Wow, she is really "testing" the waters and seems like not wanting to get better. Has she lost her will to live? Depression? I wonder if some of her current medicines could be the cause of this as well? So mant things could be going on, I think you are right in getting her back to her doctor or at least make a call to thier office Social Worker and discuss ASAP, could be several things going on here and she is not talking about them.
Good Luck
Blessings,
Bridget

Bridget.... she did go to rehab for 3 days and only ate a few things then came home and i just caught her dumping her protein shake down her bathroom sink.... I have tried so much and I cant do it anymore i am 42 year old my mother has lived with me and my family for 6 years now and my life is gone and she does not care... seems that she likes to have the Hospital deal going for her..... I am going to tell her doctor what she did and have him take it from there.... she will have to face him about that now.... Thank you so much and blessings back to you.

Wow, I am surprised they let her out of the hospital without eating and having a movement or sending her to rehab to make sure she eats. If they put her back in the hospital, they may have to put her on a feeding tube and that would be nasty. Have they spoken about a medicine that would increase her appetite? They had to do that for my father and it worked really well several years ago. I am glad you are keeping her physician involved as well. Could this be an attention thing for her? Just a thought, trying to think outside of the box.

Good Luck, Blessings, Bridget