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He expects me to do everything for him, I am at wits end now. I am currently trying to get my disability due to my chronic depression and I also look after my 74 yr old father, I do every thing from cooking to running errands and he refuses to look after him self, I have no help from my brothers who all live far away from me. he has a tendency to yell at me for not doing things to suit him, he has several health issues, diabetic, chf, copd, a-fib, heart attack, asthma, bi-polar, and a bit of hard of hearing. he is verbally and emotionally abusive with me, and very controlling. he follows me all through Walmart not giving me time to just be without him for a bit. I need help or find out how the state can help me since he will not nor cant really take care of him self properly anymore, he is apt to burn down the house since we heat with just wood in winter.

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I feel you. Your circumstances are somewhat similar to mine. My aunt especially verbally & emotionally abuses me. I also suffer from chronic depression.
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It sounds like your father is actually angry with himself being only 74 and having all these health issues, but is using you as a scapegoat for his anger, which is terribly unfair to you.

The fact that he follows you when you are shopping tells me he could be afraid to be alone. Thus, if he loses track of you, he may feel like he will never see you again.

Any chance of a senior center day care that he could join for a couple days during the week. This will direct his mind to other things, and by the time you pick him up, he will be too tired to yell, hopefully.

Otherwise, as the others above had posted, sounds like it is time for your Dad to live in assisted living/nursing home.
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Get help from Council for aging and leave this abusive situation before your
depression gets out of control
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Your only option is to separate yourself from him. If you don't like the way he treats you and it is causing your depression then you need to make a change. Have you considered placing your dad in a nursing home?
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Contact Morgan County Aging Division
703 N Monroe St, Versailles, MO 65084
(573) 378-4681
They can help you find placement for him.
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