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My father is 81 years old and living alone. This past year he has shown interest in moving into a new house and we have shopped around. We've seen many gorgeous, suitable houses (master bedroom on main) but each time he comes up with new worries and concerns of why not to do it. Most of the time these worries are totally IRRATIONAL (like he'll die before he makes the move and then we'll have the bother of trying to sell the house etc) He does have a problem with anxiety and ocd but has not nor will never seek help for it

It is only a matter of time til he has a fall climbing his stairs or just declines in health to the point he cannot handle them. I want to try to avoid this disaster. Living downstairs is not an option as there is no shower

He has the means and the waxing and waning interest to do this but fear stops him. Elderly friends sticking their 2 cents in about how much work moving everything would be doesn't help either!!

For now I live down the street from him but will not be living in state forever as I am planning a move of my own. I want him to be set up in a new home and safe before I move on with my life. Do you have any suggestions? I'm at my wits end! I've been house shopping for a year only to be met with more and more excuses

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why not compromise and begin showing him different options such as stairlifts and other types of modifications. Moving can be very overwhelming, and it sounds as if he needs options and support. Why not give him some space and as you are frustrated, check and see if your local area agency on aging can have someone out to the house to check it and make recommendations on what can be done in the home.

Sometimes its not worth it to bang your head on the wall - life is too short and it sounds as it you are trying to do your best.
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Hmmm.....the doctor route is actually a good idea though my father doesn't have a close relationship with his dr. He only has one doctor, he sees her only on occasion for age related diabetes. I don't know how much advice she would be able to offer up. I could try though. Mobility is a concern with diabetes after time so she might be very concerned about his stairs

I have talked this over with my sister who goes back and forth as well. She doesnt want to be bothered helping him move and would rather not get involved it seems.

Her inlaws are the ones giving my father a headfull of dumb ideas. Tonight they suggested that when the day comes he can't walk, that he just live in the upstairs of the house and have a live in nurse.

So he's then trapped living in his upstairs bedroom?!? Unable to get outside for fresh air? Unable to enjoy the rest of his house?!? God forbid there's a fire or emergency that he needed to get out of the house!!! What are these people thinking

*bangs head on wall*

Thanks for the suggestion!
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Would his doc be able to talk to him and have him see the reasoning of what you know to be true-well meaning friends can be pains to deal with. Would you be able to get a professional to come in and asses his living arrangements so he knows it is not just you wanting change made,
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