Follow
Share

Especially over the holidays, my mother wants more and more of my time and attention when I give my attention to my daughter. She is home from school for only a brief time and this is the only vacation she will get. I want her to enjoy her break, but mom is always asking for something and complaining that my daughter does not do more chores. She's here for a break! Meanwhle, mom has me as her caregiver all the time, except when I'm at work or once in a while when I get a sitter because I will collapse from physical and mental exhaustion. Thanks!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Thank you so much. I'm doing the family meal thing so we have time together, and I really hate cooking! I'm focusing on enjoying the time with my daughter, which will be over all too soon. Mom cries all the time and is very needy even when she is not here, and you're right, she will be back to baseline after my daughter leaves.

I've decided to ignore the guilt. I'm being patient with her when I enjoy time with my daughter and she calls for me and all she wants to do is talk about her aches and poops. She is adjusting to not being in charge any more, and she doesn't like it, but that's how it has to be. My daughter will never be allowed to be a caregiver. Ever.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Dana, I would tell her just what you told us -- that this was the only time you'd see your daughter. I feel just the opposite of GardenArtist, because I know that you need a break from your mother, too. Even caregivers need a vacation. :) I would say enjoy your time with your daughter and try to ignore the guilt your mother is trying to lay on you. It will go back to normal for your mother after Christmas.

Holidays are rather hard on older people. They are used to being the matriarchs and patriarchs of events. Roles change, but they are hard to set aside as capabilities change. I can sympathize with everyone involved, but know it is how it needs to be.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Can you think of activities the three of you can do together so Mom doesn't feel left out, nor does your daughter?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I don't have any advice. Only to let you know, you are not alone. My mother is VERY jealous whenever I talk to anyone else when I'm with her. Even if I talk to my Aunt- HER SISTER! She GLARES @ us & sulks. I just think "That's your problem, not mine!", because it is!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.