He does not like to be cleaned, showered or spong bathed. He has decided he did not poop or pee on himself so he beats me as I am cleaning him. I usualy can calm him but have had some nice bruises and smacks. He would never do this if he didnt have Alz. I care for him myself as our sons just cant handle it.
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Hey there 54j,
I read your profile and the hugs on your wall and you have some good advice from Linda about the meds and loving support from many.
This is a very sad situation like all of the Alz situations. More so because he is the love of your life instead of a parent.

The reality of it is that you cannot sustain a beating to clean him because you have to protect your body especially after what you have been through.

What do you think about a visiting nurse set up? I think that there are ways to cover that with different federal fundings, like Medicare. Others on this site know way more than me about that, but I think that with medication and outside help you just might get through this without being a battered wife.

I recently posted on another thread about the overmedication of seniors with dementia and acknowledged that there are cases that without medication the family would have no peace. This is one of those cases.

Tell your sons to knock it off and be responsible. If they don't step up now they will carry the guilt of not being there for you and your husband for the rest of their lives. They just don't realize that now. They can take turns with their dad's care if they live close by... and close by means an hour or less.
You, as primary caregiver, need respite so you can continue on.

So: it's meds, outside help and your foot in your sons' butts. Use your survival instinct!
Good luck and keep us posted! You are not alone!
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Alz. or not, you should not be abused.!!!!! When Ruth was going thru this I ended up with a broken leg!!!! Her meds needed to be adjusted!!! Get him to the DR. or call EMS. and get him in a behvoiral unit until they can get meds on board that will calm down this behavior.. Many Alz, patients get violent, there are meds to help,, please get some help before something more serious happens... hugs to you..
Helpful Answer (1)

I read that your husband is only 65 and has alzheimers, that's rotten isn't it. Can you hire a male to come in and bathe your husband on a regular basis? There has got to be maybe a college guy at your church that would like some extra cash and has a heart for being a servant. Talk to someone in your church about putting the word out. And if your sons can't or won't do it, they can help pay someone who will so you won't have to. Sorry about your hubby.
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