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Dad is not showering,changing his clothes including underware and is curt and verbally abusive to the aids in the facility. He is a very proud German man who is capable of doing these tasks on his own but he forgets how much time is going by between showers and changes of clothes...he lives in the facility w his wife who has been left cognitively impaired from a stroke 2 years ago...please pass on any suggestions you may have..my biggest fear is that he will get an infection that will go undetected and he will die from sepsis..

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Before I put my mother in an ALF I also noticed that she wasn't bathing, changing her clothes or washing her clothes. When I put her into the facility as part of her care I have them bath her....... She complained at first but now doesn't even mention it......Couldn't you have the facility bathe your father or at least threaten to bathe him. Maybe that will scare him enough and he will start bathing himself..
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hello sandy i agree with 195Austin alittle the only thing i suggest like the othere lady said visit you father and let him know the basis of the living there i wouldn't come right out and tell;l him i will make it a routine..no i didnt have this problem with my father but i do take care alz patients and i had to compromise on a lot of the hygiene and it was hard but i made it through.. compromising with alz patients really help some tasks in their lives
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If the AL place does not mind give him time to adjust of course if he smells and wants to be in activities someone in the group will let him know soon that they do not want to be around and you might tell him this those places are usually strict about who is allowed to live there and as long as he realizes he may have to leave and go to a nursing home or you may tell him you will not visit until he does what has to be done.
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Are you visiting on a regular basis? My mother is in an assisted living and gives the aids a hard time with bathing and eating and meds. Her psychiatrist told me to pick a day of the week and go on that day so she knows when to expect me. It gives me a chance to see if she has been bathed, I bring her lunch and we watch some tv or listen to the radio. I organize her room and just hang out at the facility visiting with the aides and residents. It takes awhile to settle in. My mom has been there since Feb and things are just now starting to fall into place. Just realize that " it is what it is" , and they do have a legal obligation to keep him clean.
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