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When I moved from my daughters house, she locked away several things (dining room chairs, a cuckoo clock, a table, a dulcimer, a storage chest, and more) that belong to me, and when asked for these things, refused to let me have them. She claims they are hers, but they are not, and I have receipts for some of these items that show I bought them. I did not give them to her. She also has financially exploited my husband and me. I regard this as elder abuse. What can I do to get my things back and get her to give me money she has that is mine? An attorney has said go to small claims court, but she will lie about keeping my things and using my money to pay her bills, and I would not like to go to court. Can I put her on the adult abuse registry? Can I file criminal charges? She has been abusive to my 89 year old husband and to me. Please help.

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My Daughter has taken something from me that is very valuable to me, Last summer I asked my daughter if she would hold on to a 250 dollar picture of mine, because I was so afraid of it getting broken in my storage unit, I told her I was not giving it to her I just wanted her to hold on to it, I even told her I wanted her to sign a paper saying that she was to give it back when I asked for it back, she refused and reassured and promised she would give it back when I was ready for it, Well I get a Tex a few months ago telling me I had used her and she wanted me out of her life for good and I was never getting my picture back and that she had moved and she will never let me know where she moved to, But I do know where she works, I was completely shocked by what she had said and couldnt understand why she would make such an accusation, when in fact i had done nothing but helped her with giving her money helping her with her kids, ect, I did hang out a lot at her apartment when she was at work because i wanted to spend time with my grand kids and my son that lived with her, is that using her I don't know but I was extremely hurt and confused, she had stolen things of mine before in the past I let them go, But I am so tired of watching her constantly hurt other people myself my son and always getting by with it, How much more can I take, I am sick of her bad behavior and we always let it go, Well this time I just cant let her do this to me again that picture means a lot to me and means nothing to her, I want to take her to small claims court, I just want my picture back, hopefully I can get my picture back
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I really can't get much advice except to see a lawyer. My sister took almost all of mom's stuff after mom went to the NH and I got some towels and shampoo. I fretted about it for some time, then decided its just "stuff." I don't want the BOSS in my life and that's the price I have to pay. So it was kind of stealing on her part.
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How very sad to hear of your situation jmrandall. It must be devastating to know that your adult daughter has taken advantage of you and your husband. At the risk of sounding nosy, it would help us if you could share a bit more; Did you and your husband move to an independent or assisted care living facility? Does your daughter have fiduciary "Power of Attorney" or "Attorney in Fact" for you (that legally allows her access to your bank account in order to pay your bills)? When my (now deceased) father became terribly ill with terminal cancer, I immediately became the caregiver of my father and mother and handicapped sister. I sought the services of an outstanding Elder Law Attorney for help. Entrusted with the well-being of my lived ones was scary. I wanted to make the best decisions for my family, and to protect myself as well. I highly recomend that you seek the assistance of an Elder Law Attorney.

Many states have established laws to protect seniors from fraud and elder abuse. There are four types of "Elder Abuse" that are universally accepted as defining the abuse of one's bio/psycho/social/financial well-being;

"Emotional Elder Abuse" is when one inflicts psychological/emotional, mental pain and distress through humiliating, intimidating, or threatening behavior.

"Financial Elder Abuse" is when one steals, misuses, misappropriates or conceals your funds, property, or your personal assets.

"Physical Elder Abuse" is when one inflicts physical pain or injury including hitting, slapping, bruising or restraining, either physically or through over-medicating or withholding medication.

"Neglectful Elder Abuse" is when one intentionally fails to provide basic needs; adequate food, shelter, healthcare, medication, social contact, personal care, or hygiene.

From what you shared with us, it sounds like you have sadly been the victims of both emotional and financial elder abuse. I pray that you haven't endured physical abuse as well.

"Financial elder abuse is a state issue: Every state has its own law and penalties on this subject. In California, for example, financial elder abuse is defined, under Welfare and Institutions Code section 15610.30, as when a “person or entity takes, secretes, appropriates or retains (or assists in the process) real or personal property of an elder to a wrongful use or with intent to defraud or both.”

Since it's clear you have access to a computer, please do a search for Elder Law Attorneys in your city. Be sure to check their credentials. Also, please go to an excellent website: eldercare.gov and see eldercare locator. Enter your zip code and it will assist you in seeking specialized services in your area. Eldercare.gov is a public service of the U.S. Administration on Aging. It will connect you to services for older adults and their families. To speak with a live person, call 1-800-677-1116.

If you've given your daughter POA or AIF, you can and should revoke it asap. I hope you can find the help you need and am so sorry that you and your husband have had to go through this.
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I saw on the reality TV COPS where the girlfriend kicked the guy out. Unfortunately, the cops can only ASK for the gf to give back his stuff. On another episode, with another area, the cop did not ASK but stated firmly that so-and-so wants his stuff back. The cop would stay there while the person retrieved his stuff - also based on the householder's cooperation. I don't see your daughter cooperating but you could try this route first? And then take her to small courts. Or you do nothing, and walk away from your stuff and her - period.

But, Mishka is the wiser one here. You also don't want to burn your bridges where if you ever need your daughter, she won't help you. One thing is for sure, I wouldn't trust her with my stuff after this!
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Hi jmrandall, I am sorry you are having such a time with your daughter. How sad. Can you tell us a little more about the situation? How long did you live with her? What kind of abuse did you and your husband sustain from her? What happened to have you move out? I don't know if you can claim financial abuse if you are of sound mind- and you sure seem to be :0) You can claim that she stole from you but not abuse, I think. So, yes, on the criminal charges but no on the abuse if only financial is how I understand it. Is there anyway to resolve these issues without resorting to such drastic measures? I know you are angry and have a right to be please do not rush into anything out of anger that you may want to take back. Wishing you luck with this.
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I guess that as payment for caregiving (whether real or imaginary) she helped herself to your $ and belongings. Since a guilt trip isn't going to do much, haul her a__ Judge Judy and embarrass her on national TV.
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