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My 72yo MIL doesn't have any type of diagnosis, but she seems to have some social problems like constant talking, nervous giggling after every sentence, very poor boundaries, and things of that nature. She has no friends or hobbies. My DH and I live very close to her, as do my stepkids. MIL and FIL have separate bank accounts and have retirement income as well as SS. FIL sometimes complains that one of my stepkids and their spouse take advantage of MIL financially. She gives them gifts, buys all their groceries (around $200/wk worth), helped them buy a car, gives loans that are not repaid and more. This particular stepkid is in his 30's and is over at MIL's almost every day. A couple of years ago, FIL told MIL to stop with the money train and she did for a few months, however she became very distraught and resumed giving monies when it appeared that her generosity was repaid by him and his family and children no longer visiting her unless she opens her pocketbook on demand. I feel that MIL is being manipulated by SK and his family, and the fact that she is lacking is social skills makes her vulnerable. We live in Florida. Is this abuse/exploitation? If so, is there anything I can do about it? TY!

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Why isn't FIL paying the water bill? I hope you have a separate back account if your husband is going to start subsidizing his son. If Inlaws can't pay their bills because MIL is giving away her money to the extent that someone else has to pay her bills you can surely see the writing on the wall. You are dealing with four generations, three of which are financially irresponsible and teaching the fourth one to be. If MIL is considered competent she can give her money away if she likes. Who is going to take care of her when her health fails? Will she have funds available for that? What are Inlaws plans for their future? A water bill may not seem very threatening but IMO you are correct in being concerned.
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Thank you for your reply! My DH lives in denial land. He is co dependent on both his parents and his adult kids. He says that if she wants to give SS money then that's her business, yet we've recently started paying her water bill, so I'm wondering if she's not spending herself into a hole. This just doesn't seem right. Those kids are old enough and physically able to work but they take from a retired senior citizen instead.
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I don't know if what you described is legally abuse or exploitation but it sounds as if your stepson is taking advantage of his mother and that she is being manipulated.

What does your husband have to say about this? I think it's his place to step in if he feels that his son is manipulating his mother.
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