Mom lived in one state. Son and spouse in another. Mom's spouse. (dad) died. Mom is disabled but very sound mind. Son and mom agreed to sell house. Mom was seeing docs and visiting out of town when close of house was done. Son deposited check into mom's account (son already on the account) Son and daughter in law moved her things to their home in another state. Added daughter-in-law to the account because son traveled for job. Meanwhile, son writes a check from “the mom's account” and deposits it into his and wife’s account at a different bank. Mom did some traveling therefore leaving daughter-in-law in charge of paying Her bills while on the road. (both son and daughter in law had debit cards)
Once mom returned home, things were fine... until she wanted to know how much was in her account. Kept being told the same amount month after month. Finally, called the bank. PIN number changed. Got a ride to the bank. Omg!! Needless to say, mom had paid for airplane tixs, eating out, car wash, multiple things she was not aware of. Brought this to their attention. Wanted to know where the money was. Daughter-in-law got very upset and wanted mom gone and stormed outside. Son was upset that mom calling them thieves. And said he couldn’t believe he was having to kick his mother out...(which is hearsay). Next day they were bringing her back to a friends house, and left. (Made her pay for the gas also..and she’s making payments on the truck.. another story). Had to get movers to move her stuff back. Only wanted a few things. Went from a $1500 move to a $8700 move. Onto a credit card!!! They piled everything up. Did not box anything.
We have an elder lawyer on this and says because of jurisdiction can only prosecute son in the home state because mom lives here and where the check was deposited. Can’t hold daughter-in-law responsible for ANYTHING. Is there a loophole somewhere???? Going back to the other state to press charges local isn’t an option because she can’t drive and pretty much depending on her 2 friends .. and there are other children but greed has taken over this family in the worst way. I now know the Huge mistake is both son and daughter in law were given debit cards by mom..open range but were only suppose to have spent on her needs.. not theirs...Can she recover more than the check she wrote? Mental abuse? Anything???!
I hope they don’t see this..this has to be one in a thousands??? But then again... so sad and pathetic at the same time.
Because this will likely pose an Medicaid eligibility problem for mom.
Here’s why, if she sold her home, that info and the exact amount is recorded in county, city and state database & to the penny. Medicaid doesn’t expect her to live on air but expects a certain % of income and assets to be spent over time till they are impoverished enough for Medicaid. So a review of her bank statements will show $ is gone that in theory should still be there. The bank’s statements will show date & amount of basically “gifting” of her $ to Sonny & DIL. The tally of gifting will be added up and she gets a transfer penalty by # of days that although she is now impoverished, she will be ineligible for Medicaid till she is past the penalty period. So just who is going to pay? At NH costing $5k - $15K a month, it’s a lot of $$$, someone has to come up with.
The only way around this - in my understanding- is to establish that the $ was not gifted.
That the $ was stolen or grifted from her by them.
And that means that she has to file a police report on all this and do whatever followup needed. I’d guess that APS gets pulled in and they do a report of some sort in both states. Stuff like this are usually felony charges.
Grifters know that mom / granny / Auntie won’t likely ever do this, won’t file a police report, much less sign off for a felony charge on them. So they get away with it.
This is what I'd do in addition to already having contacted an elder law attorney.
You can also search online to see if there are other elder law agencies in the state, perhaps at the county level, which might offer free legal advice (but not free services, such as going after the son and/or his wife).
I think the first step is to find out what can be done for elder law financial abuse so you don't hire an attorney w/o having a good comprehension of what options are.
And keep in mind Worried's advice. We're not attorneys, and that's who you really need to contact, but do your homework first. I would prepare a list of all the potential allegations, with as much supporting data as you can. That will help any attorney, including the one you've consulted, analyze more accurately the scope and limitations of legal actions.
I have to ask because it’s important. Who was taking care of your mom when she moved in with your brother? Was she paying her own way? Paying him rent? Contributing toward the bills? Buying groceries? Surely she wasn’t living there for free. And if they were taking care of her, surely she was paying them for that?