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I have found this site very helpful. His main office is in CA. bennettblummd
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Free Depends: I don't know if this will help you or not, but around here (Pittsburgh, PA) people will put free Depends and things like that on craigslist under "Free things".
After my husband died, I gave away all of the extra supplies I had on hand that way. It's worth a try.
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In California an attorney is not needed to sign a DPOA, only a notary. The notary's only obligation is to make sure that the person signing it is who they say they are (don't know that they are required to make sure the person signing is competant).
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I disagree that the bank did not know what the brother was going to do. In speaking with an attorney, she did agree that there may not be anything we can do legally against the bank, but in reality, she said the bank was basically practicing law without a license. A POA should be explained to the people signing it and that should be done by an attorney. Since Dad did not sign his name correctly and did not even recognize his own son, it seems a bit unethical that they would proceed. This POA was the first domino that fell against all the others from that point as it allowed him to take over everything. We did not want to make Mom and Dad feel like we were forcing them to do anything against their wills but unfortunately, their other son knew that and did not care what they really wanted. My point is whether or not there was a POA should be mute as it was signed due to undue influence. There are supposedly laws on the books which Obama brags about yet no one is willing to step up and enforce them. I have sent three correspondences to the Elder Justice department and have yet to have anyone even respond in over two years!
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I think part of the difficulty is that most of the early paperwork stuff is what GOOD families do also, so the bank had no idea about what your brother was going to do. My Aunt is DPOA for my Grandmother, & signer on all her accounts (Gma no longer is capable, & CAN'T access, so $ are safe from identity theft/fraudulent checks, etc). Gma was put in a Board & Care (after breaking her hip), the condo sold, etc.
The difference is that the $ went into a trust, all siblings are named (though Aunt is the trustee as well as the DPOA). My Aunt is absolutely open about the $ with the other siblings (she is an accountant, which helps!). Sibs can go online and look at gma's accounts anytime they like. They are all honest & above-board, which also helps I guess!
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Reading MilliBillie's posts makes me think she is telling our story. We are in a very similar situation whereby one son used undue influence to have his parents sign a POA for a bank in Illinois (Dad had severe Alzheimer's and did not even spell his name correctly). This son then had himself add on as joint to all of their accounts and then moved it all to Florida. He and the sister then moved the parents to Florida without even telling my husband - actually he lied to him and said they were only going for a visit. Supposedly they moved them down there to help since Mom had extreme caregiver fatigue. Instead, he moved them into a rental home he owned and left them there by themselves! I guess he figures he could hear them yell a half a mile away on his fourth floor condo. He immediately put Dad on hospice and was livid when we showed up announced to visit (took us 13 hours). After a very nice 4 hour visit, we received a phone call and then slews of emails that we were not to return or the police would be called. I will not go into all the specifics but it was horrible. Poor Mom was afraid to stand up to him and we did not want the police showing up at the door as they both were victims in Germany during WWII. We just felt it would be too traumatic for them. In hindsight, we are very angry at ourselves that we did not go back and remove them or at least call the Division of Aging.
Five months later Dad died and we were notified via email. It took days before my husband could reach anyone and finally spoke to his sister who said she took Mom over to her boyfriend's house on the West coast of FL. My husband told her that Mom was welcome to come live with us. She said she would think about it and the next thing we hear is that she put Mom in an Assisted Living where she ran away, got lost and ended up being taken to the ER by ambulance. Finally, the sister called and asked if Mom could still come but only if it was permanent. We said yes and within three weeks, my husband flew down and brought her back. It was only then that we found out she had been taken off all of her medication and was on hospice with 6 months to live. She was also VERY, VERY thin. We took her to the doctor, got her back on all of her medications and within 10 days, was thriving again. We were told she had no money so we applied for medicine assistance and she was denied because she had LOTS of money in her name just recently. LONG story but it turns out the other son had himself made POA on their accounts in Illinois. Dad did not even spell his name correctly on the document and the bank went TO their house to complete it. This son then made himself joint on their accounts and even opned an account without his mother's name on it but had his wife as POD. He had all the money moved to Florida with his name as joint on all of the accounts. Seven days after Dad died, he cashed out all the accounts and took all the money - over $600,000!!!! To us, this was a clear case of financial elder abuse but trying to get anyone to listen was like talking to a brick wall. Everyone said it was sibling rivalry or a civil matter.
We ended up having to file for guardianship and conservatorship in Missouri because the brother and sister kept threatening to take Mom away. She told everyone she was happy and did not want to leave but they would not listen. They filed their own guardianship in Florida which was dismissed after we presented all the evidence we had proving her move was to be permanent. They tried to file charges against my husband for changing Mom's address, they called the Sheriff's Department saying we locked Mom in her room (total LIE) and they could not speak to her (we have phone records of all the calls to and from them), and then called the Missouri Department of Aging and again filed false charges of abuse.
Everywhere we turn we are told it is a civil matter - hire an attorney. We have already paid out over $40,000 in attorney's fees for the guardianship. WHY are there laws against financial elder abuse on the books but you have to find an attorney to take a case on a contingency or pro bono because no one wants to enforce the laws?
We are hoping that the police department in Florida will finally prosecute the brother, but he is fighting a probate my husband is trying to establish there to recoup his mother's money. We have no idea what this conman brother found on the sister as she refuses to help us and is objecting in court against my husband. It does not matter that Mom is much healthier physically then she has been in years. We finally had to cut communication with them because they would interrogate her on the phone so much, she would get nervous, scratch her legs and neck so much until it bled. No amount of pleading, suggestions, etc. would make her daughter stop - just kept asking - are you happy? are they treating you ok? When Mom would insist she was fine, the daughter would say she does not believe her. Finally, my husband sent her a letter telling her to stop these types of calls, yet they continued so communication has been stopped. So now she jumps on the other brother's band wagon and is objecting in Florida. Just like MilliBillie, we have 3 states involved and it seems each state points to the other or tells you to go hire a a lawyer. We have written letters to every congressman, senator, governor in each states along with the White House and the Elder Justice only to hear the same thing - it is civil - go hire a lawyer.
I truly believe until someone is willing to go out on a limb and prosecure cases like this, nothing is going to change. The criminals will go free and the seniors will end up with not a penny from what they saved all their lives for.
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The best course you have for this is to find a real sleaze attorney in the state where the bank was and sue the bank on your parent's behalf. the other option you still have is to sue on your own behalf for theft of your inheritance. You can sue your sibling and the bank. The biggest mistakes individuals make in these cases are thinking Elder abuse charges will go somewhere. They won't! You have to get just as dirty as the perpetrator and go after them! If all you can make stick is embezzlement then go after as many counts as you can. Believe me when you file against a bank the cooperation is just amazing. Because if they get sued they are going after the perpetrator and it will be hard and heavy. Sometimes you just have to use what is available to get the individual behind bars and recover as much as you can. Whatever state that bank was in is where you need to start. get a good attorney to go after that bank. You can write a check from any state, but the actuall bank account had to be setup in a specific branch. That is where you must start. Please let me know if I can help you in any way. I know good attorneys who handle cases in most states and of course I am always happy to share knowledge with a family.
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Thanks, I do know Ingrid and have had a conversation with her about this complex case. It's very complicated because the perpetrators lived in NY, then, MD and now WDC. The case has travelled between CA and MD with the MD DA lecturing CA that they should pursue the case.
Another attorney advised me on another angle. My mother was declared incapable of handling her meds and her affairs by her long time doctor. The perpetrator was able to get an attorney to draft a springing POA naming he and his wife as agents. The attorney is going to be sanctioned for misconduct because he caused severe harm by his actions.
I have called and written several agencies as have people in similar situations. No one has been able to offer services to rectify and protect victims. The FAST teams do not have any power either.
I have no idea why the prosecutors did not pursue the ID theft. It is illegal to impersonate another person for financial gain. The banks have the voice prints and the Internet details of the fraudulent activity. I have most of the paper trail through a court order. It is grand larceny and so many other illegal doings.
It is obvious that the money was spent fir the personal gain and profit of my sibling.
It has been an ongoing nightmare. Very frustrating to have doors slammed in your face when crimes have been committed. I am writing articles detailing the obstacles I faced.
Thank you very much for taking time to comment.
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Medical in California is a bigger offender than the perpetrators. Call the centers for medicare and medicade in DC,. File a report of medicade abuse and they will go after californis.
Also inj California Ingrid Evans is very good, she is an attorney in San Francisco.
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Most of these cases are never prosecuted as Elder financial abuse. Although the laws are enacted there is no funding to support prosecution. You need to file for prosecution for Identity theft and embezzlement and be sure to check the three credit bureaus to see if any credit cards were applied for ,then you also have a case for credit card fraud. These charges are felonies. You can also file a civil suit for undue influence. Find a lawyer to take the case on contingency, You will have to do the legwork but it will be worth it.
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I am talking to people about MediCal going after the abusers. It makes sense if the exploited senior has to go on public assistance. Some states are imposing old filial laws for estate recovery. The legislator we met with felt this is worth pursuing. My mom isn't on assistance because my dad was physically abused in a skilled nursing facility. I didn't want that for my mom and negotiated with a small board and care. I can't believe how many people turned their backs on helping my mom. What happens to exploited seniors who don't have people to advocate for them?
It's heartbreaking to see your mom victimized by her own child who acts like he did nothing wrong. He's much older in his 70's. How can a child do this to a parent?
You would be surprised at what he did for a living while exploiting his mother.
I've been asked to write several articles about what my mom and I have been through.
There is very little coordination between agencies that are supposed to help victims.
Thanks for posting the links. There doesn't seem to be any competitors for Depends so they can control the price.
We can do a better job of caring and protecting vulnerable seniors. We have to.
Thanks for your care and comments.
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Suprised MediCal isn't interested in going after it - how about their fraud or abuse line? Wasn't there a penalty for "gifting"?? And no one will take it pro bono as there are assets that could be claimed and they'd evenutally get paid? This is SO not right, I am so sorry your mom is paying the price.

I wish I knew about less expensive Depends - I know there are some off brands, one is called "Wings" that are less but maybe not as good. Are either of these less than what you are paying??
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I was told I have a suit against the bank who didn't report the abuse and another professional who enabled this abuse to happen. I kept all of my letters and emails detailing my suspicions and asking for an accounting. Some very damning evidence.
My business partner's mother in law was also financially exploited by her son. He stole his mother's funds from a reverse mortgage and now the condo is in foreclosure. She was also 93 and left penniless and is now on MediCal- Medicaid at the taxpayers expense. A civil suit is not an option because of the costs. Both of our cases involve fraud and brazen financial abuse. This case was never investigated even though forgeries were involved. Between our cases, over a $1 million dollars was misappropriated. We have to protect our parents from this exploitation.
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Unfortunately, all of my mother's assets have been spent by the perpetrators or some may be hidden. She doesn't have any funds to file a civil suit. This is why this is a crime of opportunity- no consequences for the perpetrators. The daughter of the perpetrator is going to a private college that costs $50k per year. They are driving a luxury SUV and show no remorse for what they did to my mom. I am in the sandwich generation with college debt for my child and we are older.
I'm working as an elder justice advocate and have met with a legislator about my mom's abuse.
If someone knows where I can get Depends at low cost, that would be helpful. Are there any grants for abused seniors? Costco is still too expensive for Depends.
Thank you!
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Can you file a civil suit? And/or get an elder care attorney on the case.
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Yes. My elderly mother was financially exploited at 93 and left penniless. The perpetrators, they are not strangers, emptied her trust account and bank accounts for their personal gain and profit. They also used her personal information to impersonate her and reactivate dormant credit cards in her name. The transactions show purchases for designer clothes, luxury cars, lavish trips and maintaining their lifestyle. My mom was evicted from her care facility and she has dementia.
I reported my concerns to mandated reporters including the bank, the ALF director and nurse, attorneys and hospital social worker. My mom was not protected before or after the abuse. Undue influence was used to take over her financial affairs and the attorney chose to ignore the warning signs.
The perpetrator has a 40 year plus substance abuse problem and couldn't maintain consistent employment. My mom's case is very complex and the saddest event of both of our lives. The DA refused the case even after the court orders showed a clear paper trail of financial abuse. Cases involving family members are rarely prosecuted.
I had to move my mom into a small board and care that doesn't provide memory care or activities. The care givers don't speak English and mistakes have been made. Her health care options and welfare were severely compromised by this exploitation by my only sibling and this person's spouse. I was told repeatedly there was nothing anyone could do to support my mom. APS was called by several institutions to report fraud, but the APS person was not trained or maybe oblivious to the devastation perpetrated against my mom.
I'm frustrated with the obstacles I faced to protect, intervene and support my elderly mother. We have agencies in place that are not able for whatever reason to provide assistance to victims of exploitation. They are failing our vulnerable seniors.
A Power of Attorney is a very powerful tool in the wrong hands. Oversight needs to be mandated over elder law documents. Undue influence is a key factor in elder exploitation that needs more defining to prevent adult children or caregivers from exploiting seniors. Most abusers are family members.
Elder financial abuse is an equal opportunity nightmare that can happen to anyone. It is a crime of opportunity and we need better education, prevention and intervention. It is one of the most overlooked public health hazards to our seniors. No one has the right to steal their parents or anyone's life savings. The perpetrators' lives haven't missed a beat, but my mom has suffered dearly because of their double dealing and abuse.
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