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My father soaks his bed every night and wears depends. I have even purchased the thickest ones I could find. Its as though he is doing this intentionally. Does anyone have any suggestions to stop him from making such a mess of the bed every night. I would like to counteract this problem. He knows that it is very upsetting to my mother who cleans up after him every morning.

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I have just started dealing with this issue with my mother. I am finding that if I regularly remind her to go to the bathroom (about every 4 hours), and wake her early in the morning (usually around 4 or 5) and take her to the bathroom she is not having as many problems or accidents. I usually have to go myself around that time of the morning, so I figure she probably does too! I also monitor her fluid intake; she doesn't have anything after dinner. So far this has been working and my mom feels better about not having accidents and it is easier on me not having to clean up as much. Good Luck!
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If he admits he is pulling down his pants to go, then you might want to consider temporarily hiring a home health aide for morning - specifically to deal with clean-up. Talk to the urology dept or urologist office & find what behavioral protocols there are and which agencies have practioners. Depending on your dad's state of mind, he may find that being cleaned up by a male (preferably) might convince him to change the behavior - or confide that there is more to it that he is not telling. There are also tips that that person may have that would be well worth the expense. Or it may be that one or two overnights at a SNF to evaluate the problem might incent him.

I hope this does not seem too stern, its just that if you can catch the behavior before it goes on longer, he & your mom will both have a better quality of life and you can focus on the million other things that will no doubt crop up. (caregiver humor)

Best of luck, it is not easy, and it gets very expensive for both supplies and on wear n' tear on your / your mom's bodies & minds. Take yourself & mom out of the picture - give yourselves a respite break..
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My father is stubborn and has always been, he has urinal by his bed and tells my mother and I that he doesn't want to use it. We have purchased adult pads from different health care retailers. And nothing was working ever it was though he wasn't wearing anything. So after talking with the Urologist he told the Dr. that he was pulling them down. So, we knew what we had expected all along. I am going to look into some type of bed pads that can be put over his mattress pad though. Thanks for your help.
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I put two night time diapers on my mom plus a robe over her pajamas. I have a water proof mattress pad and just ordered a pad to put over her bedding. I have just recently changed my attitude and realize that she can not help it. I don't get upset with her anymore or at least I don't let it show. :) I think she just doesn't wake up. Her incontinence is pretty constant now. I try to get her to go to the bathroom throughout the day but sometimes she is sleeping or does not feel like getting up. Also, I find myself feeling guilty for making her get up and go. (I have a major guilt problem.) I try to change her diapers several times a day, many times while she is on the toilet. We don't call them diapers or depends. I call them pads. I think that helps her with the humiliation thing. It's so ironic because I used to wet the bed as a kid. Life is strange sometimes.
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i buy bed padding the kind u throw away , i notice the diaper would hold more than the briefs would .
i keep brief on dad during the day but at bedtime he sometimes wears briefs or diaper ,
sometimes his bed stays dry with the padding on it , sometimes he s soaked to the bone and its everywhere .
he cant help it , dementia ,
i just smile and say good morning !! and change him . it wont do any good to get upset over it cuz he cant help it .

i did see a male guards , looks like pad that women wear but men wears it might help alot , think im going to buy him one and try it out . will let you know if i get around to buy one .
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I understand your frustration, however you have to deal with the issue and separate it from any emotion. In caregiving we all learn that we have to deal with the problem without assigning motives to why this happens. Incontinence is something that is hard to control even if you help him do everything right. "on purpose" may be the case, but you will still need to find a way around the problem and handle it every day - or support your mom who is doing it. Things to consider:

1. Depends may not be the best brand and and you may need two overnight diapers one on top of the other. Call a medical supply house and find out options.
3. Invest in enought chux toppers for the bed - and a waterproof matress liner. Don't forget urine can cause rashes, so you will also need to make certain your mom has incontinent cleaner - no rinse is best.
2. Limit his fluids before bed, and establish a check point.
if he is rational then give him a male urine container next to his bed, if not she can try rousing him to see if he needs to go.
3. Check his medications, and see if adjustments are needed so....
4. Schedule an appointment with the urologist - he needs an evaluation. The urologist can also be helpful with training and advice on websites and publications.

It is not easy, but if you have kids you know, wetting the bed is emotional, embarrassing and not something that can be fixed by blame, so while I feel for your sense of frustration, you will have a better result and be happier if you just don't let yourself fall into that kind of self-talk. It is a no-win and what burns caregivers out fast.

Take care, be well
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