She is depressed and wants to take care of my child. She does wonderful projects with him, but seems to have no patience.
She also is very negative about EVERYTHING, and I'm not exaggerating. She seems to find the negative in all my friends, her neighbors, the world and so much more. Some things I know are natural for the older generation to not like what is happening in the world around them but it consumes her thoughts and I am afraid that it will affect my son.
I really would like her to see a counselor she could trust but we can't afford one. Please help me.

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Should have been "consider "MED'S" ...
Helpful Answer (0)

SSRI antidepressant med's (Celexa often used for seniors) are helpful. Her reg doctor can evaluate and provide med's. Usually not counseling, but could get her started feeling better. About 4-6 weeks to full benefit, but likely to see a difference w/ in 2 weeks. Seeing the world in a negative way all 'round is part of depressive disorder. See her doc for starters. Most pastors have some training in counseling too, there should also be a community mental health center in your county if u r in the US. (if you consider the mrs route, the big box store that starts with a T, and has a red bullseye in ads, has Celexa for $ 4, others probably do too- Wmart, Kmart maybe). Good luck.
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My mnl has ssi and she only has medicare. For her to qualify for medicade her assets would have to be roughly what bandit had mention. Which I say, 'Pretty much dirt broke.'
Mthorn, I would limit some of that son & grandma time too for he could pick up some bad manners even though grandma might not recognize what she is saying. Or you could try n have a talk with her.
You might also can check if their is an 'Area Agency On Aging' in your area where they might can help n offer list of free support groups n counciling or for a low fee.
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This is INCREDIBLY helpful information, Jeanne. My husband is in the process of moving from our home in a state where Medicaid is NOT accessible or linked to SSI or SSDI to an Independent living facility just across the border to a state where it is. This may prove a godsend for him, should he ever require a higher level of care than he does right now, as in NH, the laws would only allow him to have $2000 in assets, and thus, for us to be divorced, before he could qualify for Medicaid, than get into a nursing home, should he need it. In Maine, perhaps that will not be necessary.
M, have you ever expressed to your mother that you would like your son to have an optimistic outlook on life, and that you are concerned that her continuously expressing pessimism in front of him will discourage him before he 'gets out of the gate'? Although her depression is both habit and state of mind, love of a child is a powerful motivator, and she may be able to change her habits for periods of time (such as in your son's presence) if she is motivated to do so, and you directly make a request THAT SHE FINDS REASONABLE. That last piece is key, for if she is not motivated to do so, she will not. I'd try to catch her at a time when she is already in a (relatively) good and receptive mood, and make the request from the perspective of the shared goal of mutual love of your son. If, and only if, you think that will work with her. Good luck...
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Limiting your son's contact with his Gma's negativity, is a good thing-
-kids absolutely pick up on the negative stuff; it can warp their minds and sensibilities for the rest of their lives, depending on how old he is at time of exposure.
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Your Mom needs to find an Advantage Plan that includes Counsleing and Psych helps.
Most are limited visits per year--like 10 or so visits per year.
But even that is better than nothing.
ALSO, seek Support Groups that are specific to your needs--yours and Mom's. Often, Support Groups are free, depending on who is sponsoring.
Your Mom does not sound like she would cooporate with any of that.
YOU get it for yourself!
It really helps build inner strength, which ANYone who is doing in-home caretaking needs lots of!
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Just letting people know, that just because there is a rule that says teh State automatically links Welfare with SSI, it does NOT automatically happen.
Mom, our son, and numerous others I have helped, were NOT informed that they oculd access Welfare services. We had to , in each case, go to teh Welfare Dept., and ask for help for them...particularly the part about accessing the Federal Program that pays for their Medicare fees, and to get them Medicaide assistance.
[CA and WA].
We even experienced some obstruction to accessing help via Welfare, until they clearly understood why we were seeking it.
Nope, not automatic link to that.
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Here are the states where SSI automatically gets you on Medicaid. mthornhill81, if you are in one of these states, affording insurance should not be an issue; findig a provider is the task before you. If your state isn't on this list, I think your first effort should be seeing if your mother could qualify!

District of Columbia
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
North Carolina
Rhode Island
South Carolina
South Dakota
West Virginia
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Carol72156, I know that there was a gap of several years and a separate application process betwen when my brother first received SSI and when he qualified for Medicaid. So your statement surprised me. I looked it up -- apparently in 32 states Medicaid coverage is linked to SSI. In the other 18 states it is not an automatic connection.

You are right about the difficulty of locating providers who accept Medicare or Medicaid. They do exist, though!
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If she's on SSI, she's already covered by Medicaid. The problem may be that not too many counselors accept Medicaid. However, Jeanne has the right idea - you can call your local welfare or DHS office to find out what's available in your area as far as mental health services. We have the Guidance Center here that accepts Medicaid and when we lived in TX, we were able to get help at MHMR.
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Would your mother qualify for Medicaid? That has been a godsend for my disabled brother.

Call your state's disability helpline and explain that your mother needs some counseling, and see what resources they suggest.

A complete medical examin would be useful, too.

How old is your son? If it were me, I would limit the amount of contact he has with Grandma for the time being. (Not eliminate it, just cut back.) The older he is and the more able he is to understand (and keep private) explanations about GM's "illness" the less I'd worry about amount of contact. But, really, all that talk about nothing being right with the world can't be healthy for very young children, can it?
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