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Thanks for your suggestions. We are going to go down this weekend (they are two hours away from us and we are physically closest family to them) and try to talk to them. I have also thought of contacting social services, but I think my father-in-law would hit the roof. Not much in the way of social services down there in southern Ohio either. Thanks so much, it means a lot to me to get these suggestions!
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I would suggest that you contact adult social services in your county or community and ask them to do a welfare check. If it's just the two of them together, they are both at risk.
You can try to get a family friend to talk to your father-in-law. Sometimes they get farther than family members. However, he sounds depressed and stubborn to boot. So, you may need help from officials.
Good luck - this is tough.
Carol
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