My father-in-law grew up on a farm with a big family and bathed once a week. I finally gave up the notion of even getting him in the bath and have accepted the fact that he will only have a sponge bath. Now, that is even getting to be a battle.
Every week we go through the same thing. I let him know that ( usually Wed. ) that it is time to change his bed linens and ask him if he has any dirty laundry? That is my hint for him to wash and change his dirty clothes.
He sometimes just wants me to change his linens, without bathing and changing his clothes. I have to stand firm and tell him that I will ,when he washes up.
Now, he tells me that he feels bad ( has emphysema and copd ), when I let him know it's wash day. When my husband tells him to bathe and change, he does the same thing. It usually takes three days to get him to wash and change.
We discussed this with him and told him when it becomes difficult, we will hire an aid to assist him. My husband has even offered to help him.
Should we just stand tough and tell him that it is unacceptable for him to live like this? I have thought of telling him that we will not sit in the same room with him, unless his hygiene improves. He does smell and always has urine stains in the crotch of his pants. It is disgusting.
Am I being too hard on him? Should I just face the awkward situation and tell him he smells and looks bad? Obvioulsy, the gentle approach does not work. And I do compliment him when he is clean and in fresh clothes. Any ideas?
Thanks a lot.

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This is an issue many caregivers have while caring for their loved ones. I have attached some articles that can help you better deal with this elder care issue.

My Parent Won’t Shower or Change Clothes. What Should I Do?

Hope this helps,

Karie H. Team
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I just spoke to him last night about using the no-rinse bathing gels and shampoos. I also mentioned the adult bathing wipes, which can be warmed in the microwave ( he seemed suspicious of this ). I put a chair in his bathroom, and put some soft towels on the seat. I also suggested a small space heater, which he said he did not need. I am praying today, he will wash up and put on some clean clothes.
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