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We put my Mom in Asst. living a month ago, she was dilusional, they are giving her liquied in her coffee and it is helping, she wants to go home, there is no one in Ca to watch a caregiver if we hire one, my Mom gets rude and can say mean things, when I go to see her she wants her car keys and she wants me to drive her home, I would take her home for some hours but I feel she would scream and fight and not want to go back, she is blaming me, I somehow want to explain to her that I am not allowed to bring her home, (I am really afraid as to how it will turn out if she goes home.) The doctors called Adult protective services on my Mom for self neglect because she refuses any medication. I can barely handle the stress and she is under 24 care, who knows what would happen if she was home, I think she would scare away the caregivers. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Ellie

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Ellie: You could move your mom to a nursing home in Seattle. If you go to Medicare.gov, there is a pull down menu that rates nursing homes and gives you good information to which is highest rated.

This would allow you to visit her, in person, more often and maybe that would be a comfort to both of you,

I agree that she is not able to live on her own. The question you can best answer is what is the best place (nursing home) for her to life. If you review that (they pretty much all take medicaid) then you can feel positive about your choice of placement. That's the best you can do.
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ellie, I agree, leave her where she is. Tell her that it wasn't your idea to have her go into asst living, it was the doctors. Make them the bad guys if you have to, they sure won't care. And if there's even the remotest chance that she could get behind the wheel again, take heed to make that impossible. I'm sorry her stubbornness is so self-destructive.
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I suspect, sadly , that ladee is right, this would not be manageable for you to have her at home. Let things settle and maybe at some point you can take her on outings...you can bring her things that might please her a little where she is in the meantime. I'll pray there is some way to relate to her and make a few happy memories for you both while you can. I'm glad she likes coffee!
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Leave her where she is, her history has proven she can not take care of herself... and if you have no one to check on a caregiver, then itis imperative she stay where she is, and you not taking her home with you for a few hours is the right decesion..... Of course she is not wanting to stay, with her history, sounds normal to me... sometimes we have to be the 'bad guy' and do what is right for our loved ones whether they agree or not... she will get the care she needs where she is.... I wish you luck with getting over any blame that is being places... it sounds like the best thing for all concerned... hugs and prayers for you and her...
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