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My father in law is 78. He has diabetes, kidney failure, COPD, a heart condition, etc. My stepdaughter lives with him along with her 3 small children (1,3,and 5) my husband discovered that stepdaughter spent $14,000 of F.I.L. money as soon as she was made a signer on his account. When my husband exposed her for this she made up false claims, flipped out, and got a restraining order against my husband.


She has also hidden the cordless house phones (the kids told on her) saying they are lost to keep FIL isolated. FIL only gets out of bed for maybe 30 minutes a day if that. He can hardly stand up, has to use the walls for support when walking, etc. Stepdaughter leaves the 3 children for him to watch for hours at a time. FIL is not able to pick up ANY of the children, can not prepare meals, and does not even have a phone to contact help if needed. Also... I have cleaned his disgusting bathroom everytime I have been there, my FIL and his bed (where she lays the baby) REEKS like urine.


I know my FIL should not be left alone himself let alone with 3 small children. My husband called the police but when they went there my FIL got out of bed and said that he was caring for the children so they did nothing. Stepdaughter has him COMPLETELY brainwashed thinking my husband and I are doing something wrong and will not let us see FIL or the children who we were VERY CLOSE with before all this happened. I should also say the house was going to be foreclosed on by the HOA the time we were there and my husband exposed her. We spent our own money to buy ground cover and fix the yard (because she spent ALL FIL $ and had been completely ignoring warnings from HOA for a year).


What can we do about this situation? We are EXTREMELY CONCERNED about the children and FIL. My husband is certain he will never be able to see his dad again before he dies, and she is keeping the children from us (whom we have a VERY CLOSE bond with and we are their only family) they have 3 different dads, 2 are in prison, (1 has NEVER met 5 year old son) and the other is a loser with no job living off some other girl.

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In addition to APS I would contact CPS - there are vulnerable children at risk as well and each investigation might turn up different reasons for concern.
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Reply to cwillie
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Contact your local Agency on Aging and the local Adult Protective Service.  Tell them in a very unemotional, factual manner what is going on.  Hire an Attorney who specializes in Elder Care and Elder Abuse ASAP (and who has the proper credentials to represent elderly people--I don't remember what they are right now).  You will need some legal advice as this is going to get very, very messy and most likely will end up with your husband having to petition for Guardianship and Conservatorship of his Father.   Good Luck.
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Reply to DeeAnna
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