in the hallway. She asks me for food which I give her. I am also 88 years old. A social worker came and asked her if she wanted to go with them and she said "No''. The social worker left and didn't return. Her house is filthy and she hasn't had a bath in a long time. She is ill and needs to be placed in a nursing home where she can be cared for. It is pitiful to see an 88 year old woman in such a conditon. Her family is out of state and are not aware of the conditions she lives in. Is there anything I can do or the landlord to place this person in a nursing home? She can not live by herself anymore and needs proper care. I feel that the landlord, who is aware of the situation, is ignoring this woman because her rent is paid. I believe that this is a case of elder abuse because this is no way for any human being to live.
At the very least - the person needs help - but making an 88 year old person feel GUILTY for not cleaning another older person's apt. is thoughtless. We can only hope sylvester18 was just having a bad day.
The person's family or Authorities need to evaluate the situation - only then can they determine this woman's needs.
For instance, my 87 year old MIL can barely walk - I would hate to think that someone would assume SHE could help anyone with ANY kind of housework - except possibly dusting. She can barely walk, cannot bend over without dizziness and cannot lift. She must hold onto a walker 100% of the time.
So, without knowing the health circumstances of the poster - we certainly should not tell her she needs to go in and clean someone's apt for them. She is just asking for suggestions on finding someone who can help her neighbor. Most of the suggestions above will hopefully lead her in the right direction.
I have seen so many very angry posts from you on many different topics. Why are you so angry? I posted a few very loving and gentle comments to you, and you went into rages. Do you see a therapist to help you with your caregiving difficulties? It can get very crazy caring for an elderly sick parent. In fact it can become downright maddening!!! If I didn't see my therapist once a week to help me cope, devise new techniques and vent to I'd probably be absolutely irate!!!! Anger usually comes from guilt, and sometimes we feel subconsciously guilty because we feel like we're not doing a good enough job. We ALL go through these crazy emotions that often don't make sense. We all feel a loss of control because we can't really do anything to make them well, and we often blame ourselves feeling this helplessness. The ONLY thing we can do is love them, be gentle with them with the understanding that they are easily upset and frightened. We are there to help make them feel safe. It's hard sometimes, I know believe me! Frustration, and impatience from having to cope with all the crap 24/7 with seemingly no end in sight gets unbearable. Try to take some more personal time for yourself. If you have to get someone in to watch her so you can get away and have some fun. Try to get some exercise each day even if it's 10 mins of fresh air. The best thing though would be to find a good therapist to help you deal with this situation. I have no support what so ever from my family; in fact my two sisters admittedly hate me. I have no spouse or children to help me either so I am basically alone. I get extremely lonely at times, and without the help of my therapist would probably be in the "bin" myself!!!!!!! I'm reaching out to you one more time in the hopes that some heartfelt suggestions might help you. Anger will only scare your mom, and mention of "police" must terrify her. Try to put yourself in her position. Really go into your mind, and think about how it must feel to be old, sick and helpless. It would completely suck. In Love and Light
You are indeed a very kind angel to help this poor lady. I can only imagine how terrible it would be to be 88 yrs old and all alone in this world. If I may ask, what ethnicity is this lady, and does she seem to have dementia? The reason I ask is because there are many eastern countries, particularly India, that use what's called Shivambhu (urine therapy). It is believed to be the body's own medicine, and many people bathe with it, use it for eyes in drop form and even drink it!!! I know it sounds very awful and taboo to us, but is very believed in for those who practice. It is considered to keep health, mental well being and good for the bones etc. in order to live a longer healthier life. I'm attaching a link for those who may be interested. Of course it is probably due to some dementia, but just because someone does not keep a clean house does not necessarily suggest dementia. Just a thought friends. Perhaps Saverio you might casually ask if she's ever heard of urine therapy. LOVE TO ALL
I would call the local dept. of aging and explain the situation....Some of the suggestions above were good ones. Call a local news station. I live in NY. ABC. CBS or NBC would help with this woman's plight.
she died soon after.
On your computer, in the google section type in NYC Dept. of Aging. That is their website and you will be able to be directed as to who to call depending on where in New York City you live. If you need more help, just ask on this site again for help. Bless you and you are a good person to be concerned for this poor woman's condition.