Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I can attest to the guilt I used to feel knowing that my mother-in-law was alone in that little dingy house day after day. She couldn't drive because of her eyes, and unless someone from the family visited her and took her out of the house, she'd sit there all day watching TV or walking around her driveway. I must admit it bothered us more than it did her. Although she used to complain when someone didn't call or come over EVERY day. She's now in asst living, best decision we ever made thus far.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree with susan63, be grateful she has made it to 93 and cherish every minute you can spend with her. To be realistic, there are not many people with all their faculties intact at her age, and you have to pay for the senior center activities and senior day care. It isn't as easy as just taking her and dropping her off to "spend time with people her age." Your Mom may not WANT to get to know other people her own age, she is content obviously with her own family. And she probably wants to spend as much time with you as possible.
With all the crime and heartless people out there these days, to expect your Mom to get somewhere on a bus is just ASKING for someone to knock her down and take her purse from her, probably causing physical injuries to her. To take Mom somewhere should not feel like an obligation, it should be a treat. Mom won't be here forever.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Maybe I don't sound really sympathetic, unless this has been going on for years, I'd just be grateful she made it to 93 and still manages to live on her own!
If it has been going on for too long for you to handle, the above are great suggestions.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Being in your mom's situation can be tough for her- she's most likely have outlived many family & friends and is no longer 100% independent, so it requires a lot of compassion and understanding from you. Caring for a loved one is a demanding job and caregivers suffer from burnout, depresssion, and exhaustion. What FyreFly listed above are wonderful ideas and activities for your mom to be involved with...she will be able to spend time with others her own age and can make new friends in the center.
I would also do some research to see if there are local support groups or resource centers that may be able to provide some respite care at no cost to you/mom (not sure what your financial situation is), so you can be healthy, happy, and continue to care for your mom without burning out or getting frustrated. In California, they have the Caregivers Resource Centers, which relies on grants and donations, but is able to help out families with respite care or other services.

-Ann
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Your mom still has all her faculties? She may actually benefit from having companionship of other people nearer her age - have you looked into "adult day care" or activities at the local "senior center"?

Is it your mom who feels that you are her only transportation source, or is it you? Is it possible to arrange for other services? RTA, Ride-Share, Dial-A-Ride, and even volunteers who worth through the senior center can often be a great help.

Getting shopping done without your mom present might be easier for you, but if this is her only outing, it may be important to her. Try breaking it down to smaller increments - what does she need to do? Pharmacy? Grocery Store? Pick one, and make a lunch date - don't overdo it. Think of it as a social activity, and not just an obligation.

Hope this helps!
~FyreFly
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.