I belong to this group for support in care for my elderly mother. Thank you for all your contributions.
I have a very good friend who has been dealing with the early onset of dementia of her husband. He is 65 now and in a memory care unit, but his disease process started 7-8 years ago. He has not been living in their home for a year. She has so much grief related to all of this and has mentioned there is little support in the community for "younger" dementia spouses. She feels horribly lonely, sad, guilty, etc. Her desire is to find other spouses, significant others, etc. for support so she doesn't feel so alone and isolated. She is a nurse and is good at being resourceful, but this particular situation has rendered her kind of desperate and overwhelmed.
Do any of you have suggestions for an online forum similar to this which deals with this particular issue?
Thank you for anything you can offer.
Remember, you can't fix this; she doesn't expect you to fix this; and as you said--she's a nurse--and she knows the resources.
So it is for you to know and accept that this isn't your woe to fix. As a good friend you are there to take her to lunch, bring over a good movie on DVD, read together, perhaps participate in some things. Our local library has all kinds of meetups, everything from knitting to learning the new techy tools, to crafts classes and book clubs. There are also Faith based things.
And when really you slowly use up some of these suggestions, and are just down to "Let's have lunch", just listen. There's little else you can do and that is a GREAT GIFT.
If you are so inclined, this woman being relatively young, with time on her hands, and an RN, you might suggest she volunteer, even CREATE a class or support meeting in her library or church or senior center.
Wishing her the best, and you as well for your kindness and staunch support. Just understand you didn't cause and can't fix what truly is a tragedy. Let her talk, but suggest that after you have said it all again, there's little to do but give yourselves a bit of relief from it. Practice the Serenity Prayer with her. It has virtually saved this atheist's sanity.
Through our free, virtual programs we heal in community & advocate for dementia justice."
Hopefully your friend can find one that way as well.
I would have her contact the Alzheimer's Association and see if there are any Spouse Support Groups in the area. Or if there are any for Loved Ones that have been diagnosed with Early Onset Dementia.
And asking the facility where her husband is if they have a Support Group.