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Go to a local medical supply business and talk to them about choices. They will carry products that grocery/drug stores do not. You will probably be able to find different shapes, brands, and sizes well beyond what the corner market will carry.

The one I went to with my mom had the industrial strength ones that could hold a ton of liquid. They also had a better deal on adhesive bed pads. My local drug stores didn't even carry adult size adhesive bed pads, just for toddlers.

At the medical supply place, we bought a sampler pack to give all the choices a test. They could also sell to mom in quantities nobody else can.

Once she moved into a senior residence, she used their door to door delivery service. It was a huge time saver.
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The underwear are pretty much a must if there is fecal incontinence. As for urinary incontinence, the pads are certainly cheaper and easier to change, and the pads are easier for most women to accept as they are used to the idea of period pads. There comes a point, however, when even the longest, most absorbent ones just aren't doing the job any more. We started with light pads during the day and heavier ones at night, then pads during the day and a pull up at night, now we use a light pull up during the day and the most absorbent underwear I can find at night along with bed protectors. Nobody likes to clean up messes, you'll know when it's time.
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