My wife died Oct. 23. During her illness, her family only visited about 3 times. Since her death they don't call. How do I handle this?

Pick up the phone and call them- They don't know what to say. They are grieving too. I recently had a loss, my friends are grateful that I reach out to them when I am lonely.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your wife. It sounds like her sons either weren't close to her or weren't able to handle the disease process that was happening with her. I do agree to send them a Christmas card as a way of reaching out. If they don't, then you know how they feel. Do stay in contact with the grandsons, if you drive, go see them. Reach out to your neighbors & your friends. Stay safe within COVID-19 guidelines, but try to socialize the best way possible. Join a virtual grief support group to work through your grief & anger. If needed consult a therapist. Don't isolate as you need to talk with others & redefine your future after you grieve. If you are religious, reach out to your pastor if you have one, if not call a nearby church for counseling. I hoe that you are able to work through your grief & find peace. 🙏

In our family, three visits per year is pretty good. People are uncomfortable with illness and death. Give them the benefit of the doubt and reach out.

You don't. You continue to live, do your tasks on your farm, and stay in touch with your own family. Life simply gets in the way of people thinking about other people, even relatives. I regret not seeing/calling my dad MORE frequently when I was in my 40-50s. I was working and had a career, and he lived less than 20 mi away. Now that both parents are gone and I'm now in my 60s, there are SO many questions I SHOULD have asked my parents about our ancestry and my dad's military career, and my mom's education. Young people don't care about that. You are talking about an in-law family. Perhaps they resented your marriage to their relative, especially if they never said anything about your wife's health when you married, but why didn't your wife tell you? I even question myself...if my husband dies before me, do I want to continue a relationship with his side of the family? They are not blood relatives. We don't see them on a regular basis. My own cousins don't even respond to my Facebook messages. Do you do text messaging or Facebook? Maybe now is the time to start; you're never too old to learn, and you might have fun with it. My older sister has a son and 2 grandsons. She complains they don't call her. They are the Facebook generation and that's how they communicate, period. Join a club. Start flying kites (there's a HUGE kite family out there and would LOVE to have you join them).

Does the hospice service you and your wife used offer grief counseling? The one I used with my mom in Massachusetts does, you can talk with a counselor by phone up to a year after the death. It might be very helpful to have a conversation with your hospice service if they offer this.

Marjohn, I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I would suggest hospice grief counciling. I found it beneficial when my brother died. As far as your in-laws are concerned It is not uncommon for some to move on after a death of a loved one. I would concentrate on your own family, keep in touch with your grandsons and try not to worry about the in-laws. You have enough going on right now and you certainly do not need more added stress. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this most difficult time.

So sorry for your loss. I am afraid this might happen to me someday. The problem is I have no other family other than DH grown children. They are in my will. If they ignore me, I will change my will. They will lose out on a great deal of money. I don't feel like I should tell them this. Either they like me or they don't. One of them is a deacon in his church. Will that make any difference?

OP has not been back

Your 82 please let it go about them and don't lose one more second the rest of your life is for you and you alone blow them off while you're still in good shape. Have fun and enjoy every second You can.happy times..................

I hope that you are doing well and pushing through the sadness and your pain , like I said before do for you and yours and keep in mind, your here right now , enjoy the sunshine on your face always and keep your chin up.happy times for you....