I have DPOA for both mom and step dad, mom recently passed. I need advice in this complicated situation.

radiology, I notice that your step-dad is in independent living. Could you tell us a little more about him? Is he competent to make his own decisions? I wondered why the family would want you to surrender him. I also wondered if he was living in your house, because CFS came by to inspect there. Does the family feel he would be better served in a nursing facility? Please let us know more and someone may have some good advice for you.

He is 91 and has some dementia and cannot live alone or make financial decisions. . He can bathe, dress and feed himself. He walks and loves to be outdoors. He cannot cook for himself but can make a sandwich. I have come to live with him while I was caring for my dying mother. He is not ready for a nursing home but the family believes it is the only soloution or send him to live with a sister that stole money from him many years ago.The family believes that since I am only his stepdaughter that I should not make decisions for him and give up my DPOA.. This family would only visit every 2 months or some once a year.

Also in 2010 a niece of my step dad demanded that that my mom deposit $5,000 into the bank account of my step dads sister. When mom refused she called CFS and made false allegations. I had to step in and protect them both. The inspector at that time found the allegations to be false and reccomended that I get DPOA for both and register them in the courts. This would protect them from further harrasment.

It sounds like you need to keep the POA for your step father. If he wishes and he has not been shown to be incompetent, he can appoint more than one POA. If he does not choose that, then apparently you are his POA of choice. They might be more comfortable with you being POA if you keep them abreast of the finances. I do that with my brothers. I am not financial POA, but my name is on my mother's accounts. I let them know if there are any major expenditures that will reduce the bank balance. They are also free to examine the financial records anytime they want. Neither of my brothers is interested in doing that, but I would understand if they wanted to. I hope that you can get it worked out so there is trust. It sounds like there is a person or two in the family that can't be trusted, so I am glad you are looking out for your step dad.

Thank you for the helpful information and I will continue to care for my step dad.