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Mom had some surgery end of May and will be in Transitional Care (skilled nursing facility ) and then to either ALF, or remain in SNF. I am her DPOA. She has asked me to "get the house ready for sale." She has many items that are not listed in the Personal Property section of her Will-- things like some furniture, sewing machine, exercise equipment (maybe put that on curb with a "FREE " sign....). In other words, she seems to want me to clear it out-- but siblings are hankering to be let into the house....(mind you these are the Very Same Ones who couldn't do anything to help take care of their own Mother)....they want me to let them into the house so they can take stuff... Well, how in the world is that going to go smoothly? Do I first remove all the items that ARE on the Personal Property Lists and then just open it all up to the sibs? What if one sib takes more than someone who couldn't get there in time? I predict chaos. And I am trying to spend my energy visiting mom every day. I go back, to what mom SAID, "get the house ready for sale, get rid of stuff. " what does everyone think, just keep it locked up and tell the sibs they're out of luck? Mom's & my church is having a rummage sale in 3 wks. I'm tempted to just bring it all there (save the Personal Prop List items in my own basement). Want to what mom wants, and what is easiest for me too.

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You obviously have very different family dynamics than we did. Of course things designated in the will have to go to the persons listed. Now it boils down to how your mother feels about her children taking things they would like to have. also, does she NEED the sales proceeds for her care? Two important questions. I think unless all siblings can be there at the same time, it isn't fair to let others begin taking things. My 3 sisters and I met at dad's and we each had a different colored sticker and we tagged things we wanted. If more than one of us tagged the same item then we drew for it. Only first generation could be involved...no grandkids etc. it worked out great. The rest went into an estate sale. My dad wanted us to take whatever we wanted. But then financially that was ok in his case. I like what Wisepati said about letting the sibs buy what they wanted at the estate sale if financials are a concern.
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Who is the executor of her future estate? Might be good to work with them.
To me it would seem selling the items at a 'living' estate sale would be fair; as others have noted the money could go to here care. At the end of the sale if items didn't see they could be donated and a receipt received. It is important that everything is done with the thought that she may need Medicaid or review the finances for another reason so keep good records and I would hire an sale manager. And BTW some sewing machines are worth a little bit of money anyway. I collect them!

My father hired an estate sale manager when my Grandmother died and my father was executor. The items that my Grandmother designated were given to the intended recipients and then all the rest was put in the sale. Relative and friends were welcome to come and buy them at the sale.
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you could tell the siblings that everything must be sold to contribute for Mom's care. Unless Mom designates otherwise and advises that she wants this person to have that, and that person to have this, you as the DPOA's duty must do what's best to protect Mom's estate. That does not include giving things away to family. My brother and I are also at this point. DPOA may sell property - but the proceeds go to Mom's care. Hopefully if you put it this way to your siblings they will be understanding.
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I went through this just last year. Mom was stressed as my vulture siblings were besieging her with specific wants/needs for themselves or for their children on a daily basis once they found out she was selling the house. As there were five siblings, I sat down with Mom (you need to make sure she agrees with any plans) and set up a system. Each child was given a number based on the age order. We had five turns each. Starting with the oldest, they picked one item, then on to the second oldest and down the line. They could choose an item for themselves, or one for their child. Anything left after the five turns was sold at the garage sale and they were free to buy it at that time. Mom had some specific items she wanted to give to specific children/or grandkids and these were removed from the "lottery" per Mom's request. I called each of the siblings and told them a specific time and date. If they could not be there, they were free to select by phone when it was their turn. This prevented the "johnny got everything" whining that usually follows, when a parent downsizes or passes away. If they didn't choose the item they wanted on their turn and it went to another sibling then tough luck. I also asked each sibling to stop calling Mom with requests as it was stressing her out. I have to say it worked very nicely.
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Having been excluded from being allowed to share in something, I believe the one with the power (POA) and your mother's statements makes the decisions. Give everyone (family) notice they can come to the house at the same time, get what they want and put the property that is in the Will in a separate place or just a note on each item saying it is given at death. There is always going to be disagreements and you as a family will have to sort that out. Since your mother has appointed you to act in her behalf then she trusts your judgment. You know your family members better than we do, and I know if you have taken care of your mother so far, you can manage getting ready for a house sale. Thank you for stepping up to the plate and forgive your siblings. Not everyone can handle caregiving...Best wishes!
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You may want to be careful of disposing of personal property if your mom will need to go on Medicaid in the future. Perhaps a conversation with an attorney specializing in elder law would help.
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Does your mother want her other children to have anything? Seems rather cold to shut them out.
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Mallory I can tell you from recent experience that the sight of one's siblings rummaging through one's parent's belongings is pretty stomach-turning, even if they're not especially greedy. Avoid it, I should.

You could ask your siblings to email you (brief) lists of any items of particular sentimental value that they would like, which you can then set to one side for them on a first-come first-served basis. That way at least they will have to care enough about an object to remember that it exists, which gives you some kind of filter.

As long as you are acting on your mother's instructions, which you are, you are free to sell any items and add the proceeds to your mother's account. If you want to give things away to deserving recipients or charities, it might be best to check with her that she is happy with that in principle, and just keep a note of anything of any actual dollar value.

This is a harrowing process, but you'll be glad when it's done. Hugs.
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Additional caveat after reading some previous answers... Best not to make pers prop distributions unless value is sentimental & not material. She is not deceased. Her wishes per her will are not in play yet. Those assets may yet be needed to provide for her needs as long as she survives. As I said above, there are legal ramifications. It's so sad to see people grabbing what they perceive is Their Inheritance when its actually still needed to support a still living parent. I just don't get it. So sad and inconceivably selfish.
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Although I can see where some are coming from, if the mother truly wants things to stay in the family or wants to bequeath them as gifts, she has that right to do so while she is living. If she does that, then the will can be amended.
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